


Can't fake love

by PinkRae



Category: Justice League vs. Teen Titans (2016), Teen Titans: The Judas Contract (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fake Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkRae/pseuds/PinkRae
Summary: A new threat forces Damian and Raven go into the very public eye as a couple, seemingly very much in love. What could possibly go wrong?Started off as a DamiRae Week 2019 Prompt for "Fake Relationship", but I felt like this needed to be a stand-alone, since I decided to continue the story.





	1. The fake relationship

“These shoes are uncomfortable.” A hushed girl’s voice whispered in his ear.

“ _Focus_ , Raven.” He brushed her off in the same hushed voice as the two of them were walking around the room filled with _very_ important people.

“ _You_ focus when your feet are killing you with every step you take.” She rolled her eyes and tried to hold her balance as best as she could. Thankfully she had Damian’s arm to clutch onto for extra support. Of course, this whole fancy thing was only for the show. They needed to look like a real couple as much as possible in order to attract the villain they were after. It was nothing more than an undercover mission. Raven just wished she could’ve gotten more comfortable shoes for this.

“No need to be so dramatic.” Damian barely gave her a glance, his eyes more focused on scanning their surroundings, trying to find anyone suspicious. “Are you picking up on anything suspicious?”

“There’s a _lot_ of people in this room who got their wealth in one dirty way or another. Each and everyone of them is here for their own gain, mostly. A lot of greed and jealousy is in the air. So it’s hard to nitpick.” Raven explained, throwing a glance across the room as well. “But nothing that stands out just yet.”

“We’ll keep looking then. All we really need to do is make ourselves present.” Not that they needed to cause a scene. No. That was the last thing they wanted. The killer was on the lookout for wealthy young couples who were completely in love. For money purposes or for their own sick satisfaction, that they didn’t know yet. But they were going to find out. Right, now they just needed to let the killer know who they were. And with Damian Wayne that was no issue. Any news reporter would _kill_ just to get an exclusive on the personal life of Bruce Wayne’s son. Which was both disturbing and very useful at the same time.

“Let’s dance.”

“ _What_?” His gaze turned towards the dance floor. “But there’s no one dancing.”

“ _Exactly_ .” She grinned, although internally she was already regretting this suggestion. Yet, something made her pull him by the arm to the dance floor anyway, _praying_ she didn’t stumble and fall right in front of everyone.

“Raven, I don’t think this is a good idea--”

“We need the attention, right? So this is a _great_ idea and you know it.” It was too late anyway, they were in the middle of the entire room already. “We’re just one _super_ happy couple in love who want to dance no matter if anyone is looking or not.” There was a teasing tone in her voice, but Damian knew she was right. The plan wasn’t bad. _And_ he wasn’t a bad dancer either. Now, Raven he wasn’t too sure about, however.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to keep up?” He returned a grin and put a hand on her waist, pulling the girl closer to him.

“Don’t underestimate me, _Wayne_.” Her hand resting elegantly on his shoulder, they both started dancing to the slow music that the band was playing on the stage.

And, as they suspected, it didn’t take long for others to take notice of the _only_ couple dancing. It was obvious they were both a bit nervous, though.

“I’m getting a lot of mixed reactions from the guests.” Raven commented, running her gaze around the people.

“Maybe we’re not making the impression we want.” Damian mused in thought. “Maybe you should smile more.”

“Says the guy who _never_ smiles.” She scoffed at him, almost offended by what he said.

“Hey, I can smile. Look.” And he tried to put on the best smile that he could, but in the moment, it looked so tense and weird, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“ _Please_ , don’t do that.”

“Well, at the very least it made _you_ smile.” He grinned.

Her cheeks turned red and she mumbled, “Oh, shut up.” Though she did have to admit that it eased the tension between them and the people started buying the act more. There were even some couples who joined them on the dance floor. Which wasn’t exactly something either of them had anticipated, but it was nice either way. At least they weren’t the only ones dancing by the end of it.

And Damian was indeed _good_ . She felt really comfortable with him leading her and she didn’t stumble on her feet once, nor did she step on his, thank _god_. It was a surprise for her both because of the shoes and her lack of proper dance skills, which might have been more obvious if it wasn’t a slow dance.

When the song was finishing, Damian swirled the girl around holding her arm above her head and then bent her backwards holding her tight in his arms. It was clearly visible in her face that she hadn’t expected this. And a part of her _hoped_ he wouldn’t drop her on the floor right then and there.

“Was that really necessary?” She whispered to him.

“You wanted the attention.” He shrugged and stood her back on her feet, the crowd around them clapping for their courage to be the first couple on the dance floor tonight.

It wasn’t unusual for Damian to be in the center of attention, so he merely put on a smile and gave a small wave. But Raven was tense and it was obvious. “Attention is the _least_ thing I want. We only need it for the mission.”

Noticing her tensed figure, he gently nudged her as he offered his arm for her to hold onto again. “Just smile and do a little nod.” He instructed her and she complied, doing her best to look as natural as possible while the two of them slowly left the center scene.

Glancing sideways, Damian couldn’t help but note that, once she got into her role, it quite suited her. The confidence, the charm, the grace. She had it all. Something he’d never noticed before because she always chose to hide in the background.

“I need to sit down.” Raven huffed once they were out of the spotlight.

“Very well.” He nodded and made way to the nearest unoccupied table, first having Raven sit down before he took a seat opposite of her. Though, thinking for a moment, he then grabbed his chair and moved to the other side of the table right next to her. It didn’t bother her much until his arm extended behind her, resting on the backrest of her chair as he casually crossed his leg over the other, his gaze somewhere in the crowd. Blushing, the empath look over at him in mild confusion, which he noticed with the corner of his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s only natural for couples to be close to each other at all times, especially in newly established relationships. Physical attraction is what initially pulls two people together. It wouldn’t feel genuine if you and I were to sit at such a distance from each other.” The black-haired male explained nonchalantly, still keeping his focus on something else than Raven.

“Right.” Well, he wasn’t exactly _wrong_. “You have quite the knowledge for someone who doesn’t date.”

“ _Tt._ Dating is a waste of time and energy. It makes you vulnerable, especially in our line of work.”

“Maybe.” She leaned her head to the side in thought. “But if you truly love someone, it can also be a great strength.”

Damian merely hummed at her response, thinking of all the broken relationships in his family alone. His father and mother, his adoptive siblings - none of them had any happy endings. It just never lasted. So what was the point?

A few more moments of silence passed, both of them just staring out into the masses of people. This was interrupted, however, when Raven suddenly felt his hand over her own, taking it in a gentle grasp and slowly lifting it up. Blinking in surprise, she followed the movement and her heart skipped the moment she realized he was bringing the back of her palm to his lips ever so nonchalantly. Her pale face now red as a tomato, the first instinct she had was to instantly pull her hand back.

“What are you doing?” She gasped.

“What are _you_ doing?” He snapped back, frowning. “You’re blowing our cover.”

 _Oh. Crap._ She hadn’t thought of that. In fact, she hadn’t thought at all. She just saw him about to kiss her hand _out of the blue_ and reacted. My god, she felt stupid now. Sighing, Damian leaned really close to her and talked in her ear.

“Listen-- Don’t look now, but there is a photographer for the Gotham Gazette sitting just a couple tables from us. If we get his attention, it’s damn sure it will be on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper.”

Raven was listening to him, but all she could really focus on was the fact that he was so close to her. For some reason her heart was beating so fast no matter her best efforts to keep it calm. _He smelled nice_. Had she noticed that before?

“Now pretend I told you something funny.” Damian requested and that alone made her chuckle, but she did her best to drag it out into a full blown laugh.

“Oh, _Damian_ ~!” She laughed out, throwing her head back before leaning forward again to face him and lowered her voice, though keeping the sweetest smile on her face. “You really should warn me before you touch me like that if you don’t want our cover blown.”

“Oh, you mean like - I’m going to touch your face?”

“ _What_ \--?” But Raven didn’t even have time to react properly before she felt his warm touch against her cheek, sending a shiver down her spine. “D-damian…”

“Physical affection. I told you. It’s what gets the attention of others.” He merely gave her half a smile.

“How can you be so.. so _casual_ about it?”

“How can you _not_?” It was like he was almost surprised that Raven reacted the way that she did. And she knew it’d be pointless to try to explain it to him.

“Alright then.” With determination sparkling in her eyes, the girl reached her hand and made a gentle stroke down the side of his face. “Now don’t tell me it doesn’t feel nice.” She spoke in a soft tone of voice, looking right into his eyes, seeing exactly how taken aback he was even if the rest of his features remained as calm as ever. “That it doesn’t send a _shiver_ down your spine and a _tingle_ in the pit of your stomach?”

Her voice was _almost_ teasing. Damian didn’t even dare to deny that she was right, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. Out loud anyway. Her delicate fingers brushing against his jawline, reaching behind his ear and sliding into his hair at the back of his neck while his own rested on the side of her face, his thumb softly drawing circles on her cheek, sliding down to her jaw and effortlessly grazing against her bottom lip… Green eyes darting down to her lips and then back up to her eyes again... In a moment of impulse - which he _never_ acted upon - he closed the gap between them with a soft, yet confident kiss.

Rendered breathless, it took Raven a moment to regain her senses. Her heart was racing a mile per hour, million and at the same time _zero_ thoughts were running through her mind, her body not responding to _any_ kind of reaction appropriate for a situation like this. But then again… She caught herself by the thought that she really just wanted to give in to this moment. Finally breathing in, her eyes closed and she returned the kiss, her hand gently tugging on his hair.

The world around them disappeared, even if for just a little while. The hundreds of stares disappeared, the room got quiet and it was just the two of them. And it was good like that. _Just them_. But reality kicked back soon enough. Pulling away, both of them took a deep breath, looking at each other almost in surprise and disbelief that what just happened was actually real. Then, Damian looked to the side and cursed under his breath.

“Shit. The photographer’s gone.” Right, back to the mission, as always. And Raven couldn’t help but to smile at that. Though, her hand reached to his face, gently turning it back to face her.

_“Screw the photographer.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
> 
> BONUS
> 
> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
> 
> Surely enough, the photo of the two of them kissing were all over the newspapers. 
> 
> “Starfire, what on Earth are you doing?” The distraught teen watched her cut the article out of the newspaper.
> 
> “I’m saving it.”
> 
> “What for?”
> 
> “Don’t you think it will be delightful to look back at your first kiss when you get married?” Kory spoke in a playfully teasing tone and chuckled at Damian deadpanning at her.
> 
> “Aren’t you thinking too far ahead with this?”
> 
> “Whoa--! Dude, are you trying to suck eat her face or something? Wow, that is some--” The sentence was not finished purely because of the sharp blade pointed right at Beast Boy’s face. “R-right. Got it.”
> 
> “I think they look cute together.” Jaime walked behind Kory to take a look at the picture and commented with a small shrug.
> 
> “I second that statement.” Donna chuckled only for the boy in question roll his eyes and grumble under his breath.
> 
> “Come on, Raven. We need to prepare for our next fake date if we want to catch this killer.” And with that, he grabbed the girl by the hand, pulling her from the spot she’d been standing completely frozen and red like a tomato throughout all this back-and-forth with the rest of the teammates. Little did they know that all the eyes were still on them and the entire team burst out in laughter as soon as they left the room. Together. Holding hands. To prepare for their “fake” date. Totally not in love with each other. No couple material there. Nope.


	2. The real behind the fake

“That _psycho_!” A newspaper slammed on the desk with yet another article of a murdered young couple. It had been the fifth now in the span of just a few weeks.

“Calm down, Beast Boy.” The Tamaranean spoke in her usual calm voice and picked up the newspaper again, reading through the article in naive hope to find something helpful.

“How can I be calm when there’s some sick bastard going around killing people? _And_ we’re putting Raven and Damian as bait for them?”

“Raven and I are more than capable of defending ourselves.” The boy in question spoke calmly, barely lifting his eyes up from his laptop. “Which is something you can’t say for the five murdered couples.”

“The sooner we find the killer, the sooner we can put an end to this.” Raven agreed.

“Yeah, but we don’t even have a single clue on the dude.” Jaime sighed and leaned back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest.

“Or _dudette_.” Cue the cringe from everyone at Gar’s remark. “What? We don’t know their gender. Yet. We can’t just assume is all I’m saying.” He shrugged and went to sit down next to Jaime with his bowl of cereal.

“There’s a killer on the loose and you’re _really_ worried about their gender?” Donna chuckled in disbelief and shook her head. “That aside, Jaime is right though. We have nothing.”

“Which is why we need to up our game.” Damian mused.

“What are you suggesting?” Kory raised her gaze from behind the newspaper.

“We’re going to a movie premiere tonight.” He replied nonchalantly.

“A movie premiere?” Kory seemed surprised. But then again, she wasn’t really.

“Red carpet and everything?” Gar asked, curiosity quite visibly peaked.

“Of course, what do you expect?” Damian was _almost_ flaunting it at this point. “We’ll be the very center of attention. It’s _bound_ to grab his-- the killer’s as well.”

“Are you sure about this?” Raven chimed in. “There’s going to be hundreds of people there.”

“Which is exactly why we need to be there as well.” Damian explained. “I doubt the killer would pass on such an opportunity.”

“But we still have absolutely _no_ clue who… or _what_ we’re up against.”

“And we won’t find that out if we don’t pursue them.”

“How is this pursuing if we’re the ones getting chased?”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying how about we don’t mindlessly put our lives on the line like that?!” Raven suddenly snapped at the boy wonder and the entire team stood quiet. It was unusual to see the always collected empath react like that so easily and it threw everyone off.

“Raven--” Kory started and placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. A wave of worry from the people in the room washed over her and Raven blinked, looking surprised at her own demeanor. Glancing at the team leader for merely a second, she quickly pulled the hood of her cloak over her head and rushed out of the room.

The team exchanged worried looks with one another. What had suddenly gotten into her? She had been acting strange since their last mission, but now it was just overflowing and no one knew what was going on.

“I’ll go talk to her.” Kory sighed softly and went after Raven, her movement followed by a tense look from Damian as he squinted his eyes in thought about this whole situation.

* * *

 

“Raven?” A gentle knock on the door.

“I’m fine. Just let me be.” A muffled voice from the other side of the door.

“I can see there’s something bothering you.” Kory spoke in a sweet tone of voice. “You know you can talk to me.”

“... I know.”

“So, let’s just _talk_. Okay? It might make you feel better.” There was a small pause and the older female grew worried for a bit that she’d be denied. But then the door opened and she was faced with the other sitting on her bed with her legs crossed.

Releasing a soft sigh of relief, Kory carefully entered the room. Raven was a very private person. She was probably the only one to ever be let inside willingly and she’d never want to jeopardize that trust.

“So tell me. What’s on your mind?” She asked gently, sitting next to the other on the bed.

“I don’t know.” Raven sighed and dropped her head down. “I just have a bad feeling about this.”

“Is it because of last time?”

Raven nodded. “When we were at the art gallery, I could _feel_ someone staring at us. Even Damian felt it. But for me it was like-- Like it was piercing through my _soul_.”

“You said it felt--”

“Sinister.” She frowned. “I don’t know what but it was something _dark_ , Kory.”

“And we’ve _dealt_ with dark, Raven.” She smiled at the other. “We’ve been to hell and back. _You’ve_ spent a good portion of your life there.”

“Which is exactly why I know that something is off.” Raven snapped back, a little more roughly than intended and quickly softened her features apologetically. “It just-- feels wrong, you know? If it’s a demon, why go after couples? Why _rich_ young couples? Why kill them? I just don’t get it. It goes beyond everything I know about them.”

“I know we have more questions than answers right now. But that’s why we need to keep working. We can’t stop now that they’ve acknowledged you both.”

“Yeah, they did. And they still went for that other couple.” Raven shuddered at the memory of their torn apart bodies. “We couldn’t save them…”

“Maybe they’re looking for something specific. Whatever that may be, I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.” Kory smiled reassuringly and stood up from the bed. “I know it feels like we’re putting you two in the line of fire, but we’ll be with you at all times. We’ll be right outside the venue and if anything happens, we’ll be right there. Okay?”

Raven watched the older female for a moment and sighed. “Okay.” She nodded and managed a smile, more to Kory’s comfort than her own.

* * *

A gentle knock on the door. Sighing, Raven stood up from her chair where Kory was currently doing her hair. Upon the door opening, her violet eyes meet a pair of green ones.

“Your dress for tonight.” Damian said nonchalantly and handed her a beautiful long dark blue dress.

“Thank you.” She spoke in a voice barely above a whisper as she took it from him. He always made sure to find suitable outfits for her so she’d fit the role of a rich girl. This time at least the dress was long enough for her to wear some comfortable shoes for once.

They both lingered in the door for a moment longer though. Looking at him, it felt like he wanted to say more, but words just didn’t come out of his mouth. And again, it was just very hard for her to read him and it left her confused.

“Well--” The boy finally spoke up again. “See you in an hour.”

“Damian,” in an impulse, Raven gently grabbed him by the arm before he could leave, “about this morning--”

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Raven.” His gaze fell down to her hand for a moment before looking up at her again, complete seriousness in his face. And she could feel her cheeks burning. Out of all the things, she didn’t expect _this_ from him, even if they had become closer in the past couple weeks, doing this whole _fake relationship_ thing. Back at the tower they were still only teammates. Right?

“I--” She stammered. “What about you?”

He grinned at her. But not his usual cocky kind of grin. No, with her it was different. Almost like a _smile_. Something he’d been doing more and more often around her. And she’d grown to like his smile. Just like he’d grown accustomed to her soft touch, which was why he placed his own hand over hers without even thinking much about it.

 _Physical attraction. It’s what pulls two people together_.

And over the past few days Damian felt that to be true with her. On the wee hours of the day, he found himself craving to hold her hand, to sit next to her, to be able to smell the perfume she was wearing. A part of it just came naturally when he didn’t think about it too much. But when he did, _god_ , it scared him. What was happening with him?

“I’m a very capable fighter.” He simply said and thought he’d be done with that, but seeing that she was about to protest, he continued. “We’re in this _together_. We’ve got each other’s backs, don’t we?”

As much as she hated to admit it, Damian was right. With a heavy sigh escaping her lips, she nodded and he nodded back at her.

“See you in an hour.” And with that he casually freed her hand from his and retreated to his room.

Closing the door, Raven turned around to see Kory standing there, almost about to _explode_ from emotions.

“ ** _NOT_** _. A. Word_.”


	3. The reality that strikes

Bright lights flashed in their face, blinding them every other second. Being out here like this, in front of so many people, exposed to so many eyes at once was something Raven was _most certainly_ not comfortable with. She hated being here and all her instincts told her to run away.

“Raven,” Damian whispered to her as they stood by the large movie poster for the journalists to take pictures, “if you’re going to squeeze my arm any harder, it’s going to fall off.”

“Sorry.” She quickly apologized and loosened her grip on his arm, while still maintaining a smile for the crowd. “It’s just-- very mind-numbing. How do you people live in the spotlight like that?”

“You get used to it.” He shrugged casually and finally led her away from the scene and into the movie theater. A movie premiere was always such a big deal, though he didn’t quite understand why. It was _just_ a movie. And yet, all the high-standing people were here. Even the mayor showed up. _What a charade_.

“You noticed anything yet?” Damian asked, throwing a quick glance around the screening room as they were making their way to their seats.

“Among all these people out front? No.”

He only hummed in response and released a sigh, checking the seat numbers in their invitation when he heard someone greet him.

“Ah, young mister Wayne!” A couple in about their mid-fourties approached them and greeted Damian fondly.

“Mister Stagg.” Damian offered them a plastic smile, shaking the man’s hand. The two of them exchanged some words out of politeness, but Raven didn’t care much about what was said. Her focus was turned to the rest of the guests coming and going. Until she heard her name.

“... my girlfriend Rachel.” Jumping a little bit, the girl gave the man a small nod.

“Aren’t you a lucky man! She’s a real beauty.”

“She is indeed, sir.” The words somehow left his lips very easily and casually. Sure, a part of him was compelled to say that to keep the act up. But at the same time, another part of him _wanted_ to say that. And, even though he didn’t give her a second of a glance, Raven picked up some _genuinity_ behind his words. Did he really mean that? Her violet eyes turned to him in surprise, cheeks becoming rosy in color. He felt her eyes on him, piercing right through him, but he needed to act calm about it. As a couple one would call the other beautiful, would they not?

However, the empath got lost in her thoughts. It was the first time anyone had ever called her that. And it surely was the first time _Damian_ agreed with it. Her heart skipped a beat just at the thought that Damian Wayne, the snarky little brat of a Robin and currently definitely one of the most popular teenagers in this very room, thought she was _beautiful_.

“Right, well,” Damian suddenly cleared his throat and turned his attention to the other couple, “we better find our seats.”

“That we should indeed.” The man chuckled and walked away, leaving the two by themselves again.

She wanted to say something. But what? Anything that would come out of her mouth would make the situation awkward. Raven knew he said it because he had to. But the look he gave her right after… She just couldn’t get it out of her mind. And her heart couldn’t stop racing in her chest.

Once they finally found their seats, Raven sat down with a sigh of relief. Everything in her body seemed to be shaking and she was just happy to not be on her feet anymore. Though Damian was back in his very serious self, scanning the room once more before it got dark, like the conversation with Stagg hadn’t phased him at all, like he hadn’t just looked her in the eyes saying she was beautiful. There was none of that Damian left.

“Still nothing?” He asked out of the blue, leaning closer to her ear. “I don’t believe our mystery _guest_ wouldn’t be here at an event like this.”

She deadpanned. “How do you go about saying things like that and then go back to _work_?”

“Things like what?” He tilted his head to the side in confusion.

“You know what I mean.”

“Raven,” he sighed, “I’ve told you--”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s what the mission requires.” Raven rolled her eyes. And she would’ve left it at that. It was their mission to look like a real couple, to say things that real couples would say. But… What if-- they _were_ a real couple? Couldn’t that happen too? He wouldn’t say these things with such ease if he didn’t feel that way, right? Somehow it never felt like an act. Not when he really said things from his heart. And she’d learned to know the difference. And it hurt her that he didn’t want to admit it.

“But you know what?” She then spoke up again and turned to face him. “You forget _what_ I am, Damian. I _do_ pick up on things. And… Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s just… _that_.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s no need to make up stuff that isn’t there.” Damian let the words slip and internally already regretted having said that. 

“Am I _really_ making stuff up?”

“Listen,” he sighed, “acting as genuine as possible to prevent suspicion has been our mission from the very start. It’s not my fault you’ve been reading into it too much.”

“So,” her voice almost cracked, “ _none_ of the things I’ve felt from you were true? The kiss on our first night… was _nothing_?”

The end of her sentence went barely above a whisper as she could feel her heart clench in her chest. The two of them stared at each other for the longest time, seemingly not even noticing that the room had become completely dark and the movie had started.

“The kiss was--” Damian couldn’t believe what was about to leave his mouth, but he knew it had to be said, even if, for some reason, it was so painful, “--a _requirement_.”

In that instant, Raven could _feel_ her heart shatter in a million pieces, tumbling down to the pit of her stomach. Of course. It had been a fake relationship all along. Why was she so _surprised_ ? How could she been so dumb thinking there could be _more_ to it? There was never supposed to _be_ anything more. It was just the mission. Just for the public eye. Everything… _Everything_ had been done for the show. The realization dawned on her like a bag of rocks. Suddenly her head felt heavy.

“I need to use the restroom.” Raven barely gasped out and stood up from her seat.

“Rav--” He didn’t even manage to finish the word when she was already gone. And the movie had already started, he didn’t want to make an unnecessary scene with everyone’s eyes already being on the single person who’d stood up and left before even the opening credits were over. Restroom was fine, he thought. It was maybe for the best to give her some space right now. But, god, did he feel like a jerk. And don’t get him wrong, he _knew_ he was a jerk most times, but usually it didn’t bother him. However, just the look in her eyes… It felt like he had just stabbed her through the heart. And he felt _horrible_ for it.

Raven left the room as quickly as possible, while still trying her _damn_ best to keep a calm posture and expressionless face. Closing the door behind her, she looked around. Even now the lobby was still full of people. She needed a more quiet place. She needed _air_. All of a sudden it had become so hard to breathe, she just wanted to get outside. Not the front door. It was still buzzing of journalists. No. She needed to find the backdoor.

Her head was spinning. It was almost like she was losing air by the minute. She’d never felt like this before. Her vision got blurry too and-- What was that? A teardrop? What was happening to her?

Finally finding the exit she was looking for, she pushed it open with all the strength that was left in her and walked around the corner of the building, pressing her back to the wall and just catching her breath.

“Idiot!” She exclaimed, wiping her cheek. “What were you thinking?!” Why did it _hurt_ so much? Why did his words hurt? It was unbearable!

**_This one’s got a broken heart, Mistress~_ **

A sudden presence made her gasp and shoot her head up. What.. _was_ that?

**_But she’s not like the rest of them, Madam~_ **

“Who’s there?” Raven yelled out unsurely and walked a bit further, looking all around for a sign of anyone. Then she _felt_ it. The same presence that made her breath get stuck in her throat. That made her heart stop for a second. It was _here_.

“ **She may be not like the rest of them, but she has the heart of a** **_demon_ ** **. Which could prove to be** **_useful_ ** **to us**.”


	4. The questions with no answers

Raven had been gone for a while. And he knew it. He’d been checking his watch every two minutes. Restrooms don’t take that long. Even if she spent a reasonable amount of time looking for one, chances were she would’ve been back by now. Unless something had happened.

Not being able to sit still anymore, Damian stood up from his seat and rushed to the door. Slightly blinded by the light in the lobby, he looked around in search of the restrooms. Which weren’t that hard to find because the sign was right there around the corner. Now he just needed to find Raven there.

Though, as usual for women’s restrooms, there had formed a line with a couple girls even standing outside the door. So he couldn’t just waltz in there without looking like a creep. Instead, he put on his charming smile.

“Excuse me, ladies.” He spoke in a polite voice, instantly grabbing their attention. “Could you help me out? I’m looking for a friend. Would you please check if there’s a Rachel in there?”

“Well, of course, sweetie.” One of the girls chirped and quickly peaked through the door. “Hello, is there a Rachel in there? Rachel?”

Not receiving an affirmative response, she looked back to the young man and shook her head. “No Rachels there.”

“Thank you.” With a small bow he took a step back, his features completely changing once his back was turned to the girls.

“We have a problem.” He pressed the button of his communicator in his ear, speaking to the rest of the team outside. On one hand, he didn’t want to cause an alarm had she really just gone somewhere to get some air. But on the other hand, all his instincts were screaming that something was wrong.

“What happened?” Kory asked with worry.

“Raven left the screening room almost 15 minutes ago and hasn’t returned.”

“You let her go alone?!” Beast Boy asked almost accusingly.

“I wasn’t gonna follow her to the restroom, you dimwit.” Damian spoke through gritted teeth. “Spread out. She couldn’t have gone too far.”

Since he was the one inside the building, it felt only logical to search for her there. Even if something told him that she wasn’t there. He argued with himself, asking why would she had left the building. Unless she was forced to. Maybe she found something. Maybe something found _her_. That thought made him angry. Mostly at himself.

The movie theater was big, there were so many places she could be at. And it worried him. Thankfully the rest of the team was on it already, searching outside. But it soothed his troubled mind only for that much.

“Guys,” Jaime’s voice was heard over the comms, “I found her--”

“Where?” Damian instantly stopped in his tracks.

“She’s outside--” **_Static_ **.

“God damn it, Reyes, _where_?”

“Back of the theat-- … **_Static_** … --on the right.” Jaime didn’t even finish his sentence when Damian already turned around to find the nearest exit. “It’s ba--” **_Static_**.

“Beetle?” Beast Boy asked, concern obvious in his voice.

“Come in, Blue Beetle.” But Kory’s request was once again met with only static.

_Damn it._

Something was _definitely_ wrong. Swinging the exit doors open with force, Damian ran to the location Blue Beetle had given.

There weren’t many places she could’ve gone, the area wasn’t that big. But the sound and light of Blue Beetle’s canon blasts were a good indicator as to where they were. Unlucky for the Titans, however, seeing this fuss behind the theater house, the journalists grew curious and some had shuffled their way there as well. This wasn’t going to end well if civilians were to get involved. And Damian wasn’t in his Robin suit either, so he didn’t like this situation one bit.

His mind was racing with thoughts. And he didn’t want to admit it, but most of them were about Raven. Was she save? Was she alright? Why weren’t either her or Blue Beetle’s comms working? What was _happening_?

And as soon as he ran around the corner, now joined by the rest of the team, his heart _dropped_. There she was. Lying on the ground unconscious while Blue was fighting some mysterious woman and her… henchmen?  They looked more like strange beasts with red glowing eyes, to be honest. But there was no time to contemplate on that.

“Damian,” Starfire spoke softly, now standing next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder, “get Raven to safety. There’s too many eyes here, we can’t risk exposure.”

It wasn’t often - or more like _ever_ \- that this happened, but he only partially listened to what the team leader was telling him. His mind had blocked everything else out and all he could see was _her_. What did the lady do to her? Was she hurt? He needed to--

“Get her out of here.” He suddenly snapped out of his thoughts. “Got it.” And without another second of hesitation, the boy rushed over to his friend.

Kory noticed the initial hesitation and it sparked concern within her. It was Damian who was always head first into action, get everyone to safety, get the objectives done. But this time he’d hesitated. It was unusual.

“Beast Boy,” she finally spoke again and nodded towards the group of journalists and other curious passersby, “crowd control. We don’t want any casualties.”

“On it!”

And with that Starfire and Wonder Girl joined the battle with the mystery woman and her beasts. It was unclear why she was here, who she was and what she wanted with Raven. Was she the killer they’d been looking for? So many unanswered questions still remained. But one thing was for certain - she needed to be stopped.

“You children are quite the nuisance,” the woman grumbled under her nose as she deflected one attack after the other using magic barriers.

But Damian didn’t have time to focus on the fight. He needed to get Raven out of there undetected both by the villain and the press, ideally. Good thing stealth was his strong suit, especially at night. So he lifted the girl in his arms and easily slipped through the buildings without anyone noticing. Hopefully, anyway. He’d worry about that later.

* * *

 

“How is she?” Donna asked softly, seeing Kory leave Raven’s room. The older female sighed and shook her head slightly.

“She said she wants to meditate.”

“That’s all she’s been doing lately.” Donna crossed her arms over her chest, her face expressing worry. “Are we sure she’s fine?”

“Damian checked her vitals as soon as he brought her to the Tower. She hasn’t sustained any significant physical injuries.” Kory explained as the two of them walked down the corridor. There was a moment of silence between the two of them before she sighed and continued. “But you’re right. We _aren’t_ sure she’s fine.”

It had been a tough week for all of them. By what Raven told them, she remembered nothing of what happened to her after she left the theater. Jaime swore that when she’d found her, the woman, who Donna quickly recognized as Circe, the goddess of magic and an old enemy of the Amazons, had put her in some kind of trance using magic and was chanting something while her hand was pressed _into_ Ravan’s chest. Though despite that, physically she was fine. And Damian made sure he checked it more than once.

But she’d been… distant. Even for her. She kept mostly in her room or outside the Tower meditating. Barely any food, any sleep or any interactions with anyone. If she did go to sleep, most nights she’d wake up from nightmares, covered in cold sweat. And they didn’t know how to help her. She wasn’t _talking_ to them. Everyone was just on their toes, especially now that they knew they were dealing with a _goddess_.

“Any news on Circe?”

Donna shook her head. “She’s disappeared off the face of the Earth, it seems.” A sigh escaped her lips. “Starfire, I still believe we should alert the Justice League about this. Diana has fought her--”

“First we need to find her.” Kory interrupted the other. “If we have nothing on her, we have nothing to alert them for.”

“Do you not see what she’s _done_ to Raven?” Raising her voice, she shot her arm backwards motioning to the empath’s room. “Is she _not_ the one who killed all those innocent couples?”

“We have yet to find that all out, Donna.” The Tamaranean sighed and stopped in her tracks to look at Donna. Obviously, they were all worried. They wanted answers. They wanted _justice_. But… “We need information.”

“We need to _stop_ her before it’s too late, that’s what we need.” Donna frowned and stormed off down another corridor. And Kory could only watch her leave as a sigh left her lips. A part of her knew that she was right. They might just need the help if this thing were to blow out of proportion. And by what Donna could tell them, Circe was no enemy to take light-heartedly. Still, there was a hint of hesitation inside of her. Almost like a pride thing. To prove that they could do it without the Justice League. On their own. They had gotten this far after all.

“You’re worried that the Justice League will deny their help because of me, aren’t you?” A sudden voice echoed from behind her. Gasping in surprise, Kory looked back to see Raven standing outside her room, probably having heard snippets of the conversation.

Opening her mouth to respond to the question, the older female hesitated to get any actual words out of her mouth. She didn’t know what to say, really. Raven was right and she knew that she knew it.

“You know that’s not--”

“Then don’t tell them about me.”

“What?” Kory was slightly taken aback.

“Tell them _everything_ besides that. The killed couples, Damian and I’s PR stunts, how we found the damn witch, fought her and lost her.” Raven spoke with complete seriousness in her voice, as usual. The only thing _un_ usual about it was probably the fact that it was the most that she had talked in _days_. “And we need to find her and stop her before more people die.”

“Are you saying that she _is_ the killer?”

“ _All_ I’m saying”-- Raven sighed and covered her head with the hood of her cloak-- “is that we can’t fight this alone. She’s a _goddess_ , for god’s sake.” Scowling, the girl turned and made her way to her usual spot outside the garden to meditate.

_Didn’t she say she didn’t remember anything?_

Now Kory was certain of at least _one_ thing. She knew more than she let on.


	5. The calm before the storm

“Oh, so  _ that’s _ why Damian was all over the news, caught by the journalists with a  _ pretty lady _ by his side.” Diana couldn’t help but to let out a small chuckle, although, in the back of her head, she knew that this was a serious matter.

Of course, it was nothing unusual to have a Wayne pop up somewhere in the news every now and then. But it wasn’t, well,  _ ever _ that Damian would bring so much attention to himself by bringing a girl with him on several occasions. 

“I’ll have to admit, even though it was all fake, they sure knew how to make it seem very real.” She smiled a little at the woman on the opposite side of the table.

“I’m certain there was a spark of realness to it somewhere. They definitely became closer.” Kory smiled back at her, but her features soon changed to more concerned ones. “Which is why they’ve been worried for each other. They won’t admit it of course. But”-- she sighed and leaned back in her chair-- “dealing with someone  _ this _ serious was beyond our expectations.”

Diana hummed at her words and nodded in thought. “I can imagine. It seems very… not very  _ Circe-like _ too. You know? I mean, killing humans…  _ couples _ , yes. She has a thing for playing with people’s feelings. But to go after  _ very  _ famous people and risk all the exposure? There  _ has _ to be something more behind it.”

“I agree. But what could that possibly be?” Kory spoke and sipped on her coffee. It was a good thing they’d agreed to meet at this small outdoor cafe. There were too many people walking by for anyone to really hear or care what they were talking about, so they could be at ease. “We had one run-in with her and we didn’t exactly get anything out of her.”

“Well, it’s not said that she’s working  _ alone _ .”

“You think there might be someone else behind the curtain?”

“Possibly. Especially if that someone promises her more powerful magic.” Diana thought for a moment. “ _ Or _ she could’ve just found new ways to gain more power. But we won’t know until we  _ find  _ her.”

“We’ll keep looking.” Kory nodded.

“I’ll help.” Her phone lit up with an SOS message on it and Diana knew she’d have to cut this conversation short. “And that’s my cue.” She stood up and grabbed her purse. “Good luck. And stay safe.”

“Thank you.” Kory stood up as well and gave the other a smile. “Oh and Diana--?”

“This stays between us?” Diana asked, as if already knowing what Kory had wanted to say. Receiving a nod from her after a short moment of surprise, she smiled but her eyes expressed seriousness. “Until we find out just  _ how _ serious this is.”

* * *

“You’ve been avoiding everyone.” A sudden voice emerged from the bushes.

“Yeah it’s kind of hard to do that when you’re up in my face all the time.” A snarky response followed and the figure stepped out into the light. But Raven didn’t even bother to open her eyes. 

“We’re trying to  _ help  _ you, Raven.” Damian frowned at the clear disregard of his presence. 

“I don’t  _ need _ your help.”

“Then why are you--”

“You’re  _ really _ ruining my meditation, Damian.” Raven opened an eye only enough to give him a glare.

“You wouldn’t be meditating so much if something wasn’t wrong.” 

“And you know  _ so  _ much about me, don’t you?”

“I know enough to pick up on the blatant sarcasm and displeasure of my presence.” He said matter-of-factly and she couldn’t help but groan at that. Finally opening her eyes fully, she looked up to him with a frown on her face that was hidden underneath her hood.

It still hurt to look at him. And she didn’t even understand  _ why _ . But she was angry at him. She didn’t want to see him, hear him or be anywhere  _ near  _ him. Still, here they were. Staring at each other, expecting the other to say something. 

“Raven”-- suddenly his features softened and he sat down in front of her, crossing his legs the same way she had-- “I feel like we have things we need to talk about.”

Damian Wayne?! Talk about things?! A sincere heart to heart?! It seemed so ridiculous to her that she barely held herself from laughing. Instead, she drew a long breath and forced a smile. “We really don’t.  _ Unless  _ you’re talking about what happened with Circe, to which I’ve already said multiple times - I. Don’t. Remember.”

“Which is  _ also  _ not true.”

“What--”

“Because if it  _ was _ , Kory wouldn’t be sneaking around and bringing you books like  _ this _ ,” Damian spoke and pressed a button on his wristwatch that showed a hologram of several pictures of books with titles like  _ Binding Magic, Demonic possession  _ and  _ Art of Summoning  _ on the cover. 

“You’ve been snooping around in my room?” Now she was really getting angry.

“ _ You _ have been lying to us and I want to know why.” And as much as she wanted to say something against it, she really had no excuse. None that would satisfy him, anyway. So she stayed quiet and only kept a glare focused on him. Though she knew she had to say  _ something  _ eventually. 

“So what, you’re going to interrogate me now?”

“We’re a  _ team _ , Raven. We shouldn’t be keeping things like this from one another. You know full well where secrets have lead us in the past.”

“You’re right.” She responded almost too quickly. “I  _ may _ have been getting my memories back gradually.  _ However _ . Kory and I agreed not to create unnecessary alarm before we knew what was going on.”

“And  _ do _ you?” 

“Not fully. Some things are still foggy and unclear.” Raven sighed and her body eased up. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, it was actually refreshing to talk to someone. Especially Damian, who she’d gotten closer to over the past few weeks. Sure, they’d been close before already, but it had never felt the way it did when they went on their  _ fake _ dates. And, honestly, she  _ missed _ that.

Damian had also been going out of his way to try to get her to talking. She noticed his efforts, but dealing with whatever Circe did to her and her own hurt feelings stopped her from responding to it, really. This was the first time he’d actually caught her before she ran off. And he was glad he did. He’d gotten so used to working closely with her on this case that it just felt…  _ empty _ without her around. And it frustrated him. Not the fact that he wanted to be around her. But the fact that he had to admit it to himself that it was  _ her _ . That it was  _ someone _ who made him feel the way he did.

“So what do you know and why the books?” He finally asked in a soft tone of voice and shifted to sit next to her.

“It’s… hard to explain.”

“Try me.” He said dead-serious. “You explained it to  _ Kory _ , didn’t you?” Raven knew he was right. But it still didn’t come easy to her, even with Kory. Just finding the right words was hard for her.

“From what I’ve gathered,” she started, taking a deep breath, “Circe has been pulling demons out of hell and making them possess human bodies so she could bind them to herself.”

“Bind demon possessed humans? What kind of sick fantasy is that?”

“Demons are powerful creatures, Damian.” She scowled. “She could do a great deal of damage with a whole army of them.”

“So what? She tried to control you too?” He asked almost in disbelief that someone could ever even  _ think _ of doing something so foolish. Raven was no demon to be controlled. But the look on her face that she gave him spoke differently and he realized that there was indeed  _ someone _ who’d thought it was a good idea. “Hence the books.” Damian concluded with a nod, more to himself.

“Hence my meditation as well. I’ve been trying to keep a clear head. To keep  _ her _ out of it.” She frowned slightly and pulled down the hood of her cloak to look at Damian. “I hate to admit it, but”-- a nervous chuckle left her lips-- “I’m…  _ scared _ .”

It was the first time she’d said it out loud to anyone. Even herself. Up until now she fought to be strong and not think about the possible negative outcomes.  _ To keep her head clear _ . But now that she was talking with Damian, these feelings just… came out. She didn’t understand why or how, but it was so easy to just lay it out there when she was with him. Even if he rarely ever did the same with her.

And it was true. Damian wasn’t one for words. Everyone knew he was more of a doer than a talker. And this trait of his reflected well now when he simply put his hand over hers, making her jump slightly as her face turned red.

“We’ll figure it out.” He said nonchalantly, completely ignoring the baffled look she was giving him.

“Damian, we’re not”-- her eyes glanced down at their hands-- “You don’t have to do that anym--”

“Let me.” He quickly requested firmly, but with softness in his voice and a serious look on his face even if his cheeks were rosy. “I haven’t been able to do this in a while.”

Hearing this made her heart skip a beat. “So, what-- You  _ like _ to hold my hand?”

“I’ve… grown  _ accustomed  _ to it.” Damian tried to make it sound like it was no big deal. But Raven knew better and she couldn’t help but grin.

“Is it not a  _ requirement _ anymore?” She teased him only for him to gently squeeze her hand and look at her with a  _ shut up _ look on his face. Releasing a content sigh, she intertwined their fingers and shifted closer to him to gently lean against him. “You’re still a  _ jerk  _ for saying those things.”

“And you’re still an  _ idiot  _ for running off like that.”

They both let out a laugh.


	6. The summoning of the sorceress

“So I’m not even _considered_ for this?” The irritation was evident in her voice as she looked at her teammates, who were at a loss of words. They didn’t really know how to say this without possibly _offending_ her or making her feel useless for the mission. But it had been a collective decision that it was for the best to let Raven rest in the safety of the Tower.

“Raven”-- Kory stepped in, unsure what to say-- “please understand. We want you to be _safe_ . And well, you haven’t exactly been… _yourself_ since your encounter with Circe.”

“Yeah, I mean, she must’ve done some bad shit to you.” Jaime agreed, images of Circe’s hand into her chest still flashing in his mind. God knows what she’d done to the girl. But everyone on the team agreed it wasn’t anything good.

“You make it sound like I’ve been on my deathbed for the past weeks.” She scoffed. “Or that I’m incapable of standing my ground and fighting.”

“You know that’s not--”

“No matter how strong of a magic user you may be, Circe is a powerful foe, Raven.” Diana then stepped in to finish with this debate as soon as possible. “Whatever she planned to do, she _will_ go through with it. And she will definitely try to use it against us in battle.”

“So I’m a _liability_ now?” Raven frowned at her, but received no vocal response. Diana didn’t want to use the word, but the expression on her face told Raven everything she needed to know.

The empath could only wonder how much Kory had told her about what happened with her and Circe. If she hadn’t told her everything, she probably wouldn’t be saying things like this. However, Diana was smart. Especially since she had dealt with the sorceress before. She’d be very well aware of what the other was capable of. So for now, Raven was really left without a choice.

“Very well then.” She finally spoke with discontentment still in her voice, sighing in defeat. “I can’t say that I don’t see your point.”

Diana nodded to that and turned to the rest of the team. “Right, let’s get ready then.” And while everyone got busy preparing to go find Circe at the location that Diana had provided, Raven silently retreated to her room. There wasn’t anything she could do there now.

* * *

 

She heard footsteps approach her from behind and didn’t need to look to know who it was. “You guys leaving?”

“They are.”

“What do you mean?” She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Damian, obviously surprised.

“I’m staying here.” He spoke calmly and sat down next to her in the grass.

“Why?” Her brows furrowed in confusion.

“Because _someone_ has to stay and--”

“Babysit me?”

“--Keep you safe.” His gaze slowly turned to her, serious as ever. “Raven, I don’t want to leave you here all by yourself.”

“So you’re depriving the team of a valuable member that would be _absolutely_ useful in the fight?”

“They have Wonder Woman.”

“Yeah, but they don’t have Damian Wayne.” It _almost_ sounded like she was trying to give him a boost in ego. Which wasn’t exactly what she was getting at. And he knew it.

“Raven.”

“Damian.” She mimicked. “They need you there.”

“And what if you need someone _here_?” The thought of her being in danger just because they were reckless enough to leave her here alone just didn’t leave his mind.

“The worst that can happen is Circe’s summoning spell working. In which case _no one_ will be able to stop it from happening unless you’re on the _other_ side of it.” It… made sense, he supposed.

“What… exactly _is_ going to happen if that were to work?” He asked cautiously, almost afraid to hear the answer. But he needed to know what they needed to look out for. And possibly, how to fight it as well.

“Well,” she hummed in thought, looking up at the sky for a second, “she’d summon me to wherever she is at the time. And seal her binding spell, I imagine.”

“Seal it? You mean, it’s not in full effect right now?”

“Mm.” Raven nodded. “I’m still me, aren’t I? If it was sealed, I’d be a mindless drone in her hands. Just like the creatures she has under her command right now. Which is why”-- her voice cracked-- “I need you to be _there_. So you can… stop her. And stop me. If something--”

“I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.” He interfered, but with softness in his voice. Taking her hand into his, he tilted his head to the side trying to look at her face.

“But you can’t keep that promise, can you?” She then asked, her head moving to look back at him as tears filled in her eyes. A sudden pain rushed through his chest, her words cutting him like a knife. And for once, his solid exterior cracked and the sadness broke through his eyes.

“I-- I suppose not…”

“So… I want you to promise me something else.” Raven shifted to face him and placed her other hand on top of his, squeezing it gently, which brought a soft blush to his cheeks. “Promise me that you’ll end this. No matter what. We can’t let demons go on a rampage around the world. We can’t allow _me_ to be any part of it.”

“What? Raven”-- his eyes widened in shock of what she was asking him to do-- “you’re not _seriously_ asking me to--” But he didn’t even need to finish that sentence. The look in her eyes was all he needed to know. And as much as he hated the situation she was putting him in, he understood the weight of the problem. Damian would always do whatever needed to be done. They both knew that.

“Fine.” He finally sighed and looked down with a frown. “But _only_ if there is no other way.”

“Thank you.”

“And don’t make it sound like this is the last time we see each other.” His gaze turned back up to her as stern as ever, taking her a bit by surprise. But… Could they be sure that this _wasn’t_ the last time though?

“But what if it _is_?” She suddenly asked in the softest of tones, barely above a whisper, tilting her head to watch his reaction. “Would you have any regrets?”

Regrets? The question totally took him aback. He had to admit that he’d never thought about it. Why would she be asking about it at a time like this? _Did_ he have anything to regret? Green eyes darted back and forth, trying to find anything to respond with. But he was never good with words. No. Instead, he let his body speak _for_ him.

Not a single sound left his lips before he shifted to prop himself on his knees and placed a hand on the back of her neck, a thumb resting on her jawline. Her eyes widened and face flushed red, watching as he leaned closer until their faces were mere inches apart. His nose gently brushed against hers, taking in a deep breath before his eyes shut and he closed the gap between them.

Although this wasn’t the first kiss they shared, it felt _different_. It was… softer. More sincere. With more emotion. One that made the pit of her stomach tingle, her heart skip a beat and her breath get stuck in her throat. All she was able to do was lean into it, her hand resting against his chest. But the moment felt short-lived with Damian pulling back seemingly just as quickly as he had leaned into it, making an involuntary gasp leave her lips.

“No.” His voice was low as he opened his eyes just a tiny bit. “No regrets.”

* * *

 

“You _children_ are becoming a real nuisance!” Circe growled and got more minions in to help.

Finding her had been the easy part. Diana’s coordinates had been quite precise. It was getting around the place that caused issues. It was damn _huge_ and Circe used it to her advantage, separating the team as much as possible so she could take them out one by one. But they weren’t _that_ easy to get rid of.

“Starfire!” Robin called out watching a creature send her flying to the ground, his reaction immediate as he ran towards her to catch her before she hit the ground. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She breathed and thanked him for catching her before standing back on her feet. “You can really feel the lack of a healer on the team.”

“We’ll make do.” He squinted his eyes and looked towards Circe who’d resumed to chanting her spell standing next to a glowing circle of weird symbols on the ground. “We can’t let her finish that summoning spell.”

Nodding, Starfire joined him back into battle. However, it wasn’t long before the sorceress exclaimed in triumph,  bringing everyone’s attention to her. And the circle. That was glowing much brighter now. And slowly… someone was emerging from it…

“No…” Robin gasped and watched in horror as Raven’s form slowly rose up, her wrists and ankles chained by magic and her expression blank. She’d done it. Circe managed the summoning spell. _How_ ?! Raven would’ve never let that happen. In his mind, he was certain she was playing tricks with them just to catch them off guard. However, he couldn’t deny that his first instinct _still_ was to save her.

“Hey!” Robin drew his sword and pointed it at Circe. “You lay your hands off of her, _witch_.” He nearly growled at her.

“Witch?” The woman laughed out and stood up straight and proud. “I’m _Circe_ , the daughter of Hyperion and Perseis. I’m the _Goddess of Magic_ . Don’t you _dare_ to belittle me, _boy_.”

“What do you want with the girl, Circe?” Wonder Woman called out from the back of the room where she had just entered after fighting off the minions she’d sent after the heroine.

“How wonderful of you to join us, Amazon.” Her eyes almost gleamed in dark pride. “Oh, you _know_ , I’m just here to have a little fun~” Circe cooed and laughed softly before turning back to Raven who was still trapped and oblivious to what was going on because of the trance she was in.

“I’ve been collecting some broken hearts, compelling some demons~ This one right here proves to be a bit of a challenge though.” Suddenly her expression changed completely as she grabbed Raven by her chin roughly turning her head to look at her face. “Her human side keeps getting in the way. I wonder--,” a devilish grin stretched across her face as an idea popped in her mind, “what would happen if I were to--,” she placed her hand on Raven’s chest and everyone’s heart stopped for a moment, “get rid of it?” And with that last sentence her hand flashed red and sunk into the girl’s chest making her gasp and lean backwards.

“No!” Damian gritted his teeth and lunged towards her but was pushed back by a group of her creatures.

“Raven!” Starfire gasped in absolute horror.

“What are you doing?!” Wonder Woman exclaimed.

But nothing could be done. Mere seconds later Circe had pulled out what seemed to be Raven’s soul straight out of her chest. Though unable to contain the sheer power of it, the soul freed itself from her claws and flew up in the sky, disappearing in a blink of an eye. As soon as it was gone, Raven’s limp body fell on the ground, unconscious and unresponsive.

“ **_RAVEN!_ **”

 


	7. The beginning of the end

“ **_RAVEN!_ ** ” Damian’s voice echoed as the world had suddenly become completely quiet. Everyone was waiting in anticipation of what was going to happen. Hell, they couldn’t even believe their eyes of what they’d  _ just _ witnessed.

What had just happened? What did the sorceress do to her? Did she really pull her  _ soul  _ out of her body? Was that even possible? All those questions were left unanswered when Raven suddenly released a quiet grunt.

_ She was alive! _

Twitching her fingers, the girl slowly opened four glowing eyes, her skin red, and looked around in confusion.

“Ah, my  _ precious _ ,” Circe smiled proudly, “now the process can be completed. Your soul has been  _ purged _ , my child. And you shall be joining my ranks.”

Raven listened to the woman speak and still had no  _ fucking _ idea what was going on. Her head was spinning and her ears were ringing like she’d just been in an explosion. Everything was so hazy… Propping herself up, she sat on her knees, a hand reaching to her head, however she realized she was actually chained and kept in place by a magical force. A sudden anger rushed through her. She was  _ not happy _ about that.

“What is this..?” She looked up at the older woman and slowly stood on her feet. At this point in time she still hadn’t noticed the Titans around her just looking absolutely horrified at the sight right in front of their eyes. Even if she felt all these emotions around her, she couldn’t say that she was very bothered by it.

“Oh it’s just a minor inconvenience.” Circe waved her hand. “You’ll be free once I finish binding you.”

A moment of silence set in between of them, as the girl looked at her with confusion in her eyes. Binding? What did the woman mean? Then--- it struck her.

“The hell you will.” A low growl escaped her throat as she frowned at the other and struggled to break the chains that were holding her.

“ _ Please _ . You’re making it only harder for your--”  **_SNAP_ ** _. _

“ _ What?! _ ” She watched the chain on Raven’s hand snap in utter shock. “Why you little--” With another spell, more chains extended from the ground, wrapping around the girl’s body. But it only made her angrier.

“ **_Don’t_ ** underestimate me,  **_witch_ ** .” Gathering all her energy, Raven gave out a strong wave of magic, breaking all her chains at once and sending Circe flying backwards. And not only that. Everyone else in the room got blown away as well, throwing them on the ground with a collective gasp. 

But Raven’s focus was still on Circe. Her anger was all aimed at her. She didn’t understand what was happening to her, but there was a fire burning inside of her and she couldn’t stop it. There was nothing else. Just the flames. The hatred. The wish to  _ destroy _ .

“How did you--?” The sorceress was completely thrown off guard. Never in her life had she experienced such resistance. It was  _ impossible _ and, quite frankly, hurt her ego a little bit. “How  _ dare _ you?!” Getting back on her feet, now angry herself, Circe glared at the girl.

“No, how dare  **_you?_ ** ” Raven blasted the woman with dark energy, though she protected herself with a magic barrier.  _ Barely _ . “You  **_may_ ** be the daughter of Hyperion and Perseis, but  **_I_ ** am the daughter of  **_Trigon the Terrible_ ** .” She threw another attack at Circe. “The  **_destroyer_ ** of worlds.” And another one. “How  **_dare_ ** you even  **_think_ ** you could  **_bind_ ** me and  **_contain_ ** me?! I am not your  **_bloody toy!_ ** ” With every word she grew stronger, the energy around her literally lifting rocks off the ground and Circe could barely withstand the attacks.

“So… much power…” Circe wasn’t one to be easily scared. But the growing power of the half-demon before her shook her. It wasn’t what she had expected at all. It had been the first time a demon escaped her grasp like that. However, once the initial shock was over, now she wanted to have that kind of power on her side more than before.

“Raven, please,” she grinned at her, “we both want the same thing.”

“No, we  **_don’t_ ** . You want  **_power_ ** . And  **_control_ ** . While I”-- Raven squinted her eyes, a dark smile etching into her face-- “ **_I_ ** just want to watch the world  **_burn_ ** .”

“Raven--!”

Their conversation was interrupted and Raven turned her head, finally acknowledging the other people in the room. Her attention was drawn to Robin who’d called out to her. She looked at him and somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that she was supposed to  _ feel  _ something. Something familiar. Something warm. It stopped her for a moment as she gazed upon the masked face, as if trying to recall her memories of him. But no matter how much she tried, she felt  _ nothing _ . And a part of her knew that she should be bothered by this fact, but she caught herself by the thought that she really wasn’t. It felt  _ freeing _ , somehow.

“Stay out of this.” She then eventually spoke in a raspy monotone voice with no emotion whatsoever. “If you want to live.” And with a swift movement of her hand, she created a magic barrier encasing her and Circe and leaving the rest of them outside. For her own safety or theirs, she wasn’t sure yet.

“Raven, what are you doing?” Starfire exclaimed, but it was no use. She wasn’t listening anymore. Her demonic eyes were all on Circe and Circe alone. Not even the team’s efforts to break through the barrier bothered her right now.

“Aw, you’re keeping them out of line of fire. How  _ noble _ of you.” Circe cooed in a mocking tone.

“You’re choosing an awfully  **_bold_ ** tone for someone who’s about to burn in the flames of  **_hell_ ** .” Raven growled at her, but the other was not phased at all. 

“My, aren’t you confident, my child?” She grinned at her and summoned her demon-possessed servants to her. “Do you really think you’re a match for  _ me _ ?”

But the servants were indeed no match for Raven, fueled by the power and rage of Trigon. No matter how many of them Circe sent at her, she kept wiping them out one by one seemingly without even breaking a sweat. Her powers were too strong for them to fight back too long. And as demons themselves, they felt she was far superior than them and would give up in an instant had they not been bound to Circe. The fight was unfair, to say the least. She was swatting them like flies and the sorceress couldn’t help but to grow anxious once they were face to face with each other.

“ _ No matter, _ ” she thought to herself, “ _ I still have some tricks up my sleeve left. _ ” Circe would never admit defeat, not so easily. There was still a lot of fighting spirit in her and Raven knew it just by the confidence that was  _ oozing _ in the air. But her own confidence didn’t falter by one bit. And so their magic powers clashed.

“We have to help her!”

“Help who?” Wonder Woman stood in between Robin and Starfire, eyeing the Tamaranean next to her before her focus shifted to observe the fight. “It’s obvious Raven is no longer herself. She’s never unleashed such power before. Her anger is strong. This might as well be a fight to the  _ death _ .”

“Raven would never--!” Robin argued with a frown on his face.

“But  _ this _ is  _ not  _ Raven.”

“She’s right, Robin…” Starfire concluded slowly and slowly turned her head to look at him. “And we might want to not be in her way when this fight is over. She said it herself--”

“She wasn’t-- She just got a  _ part  _ of her ripped out from her chest, of course she’s angry and confused and--”

“You know  _ exactly _ what it was that Circe ripped out.” Wonder Woman frowned at him, trying to make him think  _ logically _ about this, like he normally would. “If her humanity is gone…”

“We can’t be sure she’s not a threat to us as well.” Starfire finished the sentence quietly and with much pain in her voice, her green eyes setting onto the fight once more. But it had to be said for the reality to set in. For them to  _ believe  _ that this was really happening.

“The best we can do right now is to find your teammates.”

“I agree.”

“ _ I _ don’t.” Robin’s stubbornness was getting the best of him once again.

“Do you  _ always _ have to be so stubborn?” Wonder Woman’s patience was starting to run thin. But she still managed a restrained, understanding smile. “I understand you must feel the loss of a loved one such as her much greater than any of us, but right now, this is a battlefield. Of steel and blood, if it has to be. Sometimes the smartest option trumps the most emotional. Trust me on that.”

“Damian…” Starfire spoke softly and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We  _ can’t _ help her right now. But we  _ can _ get everyone to safety. That is what we must focus on.”

He knew she was right. Deep inside he  _ knew _ what the right thing, the  _ logical _ thing to do was. But he couldn’t. His mind and his heart were contradicting each other. His body didn’t want to move a muscle. Of course, he realized he was being unnecessarily stubborn right now and he could do nothing to get to Raven. But his heart screamed out to her. He couldn’t help it. He wanted her to hear him  _ so _ badly. Just for her to look at him and  _ stop _ this madness. So he wouldn’t have to fulfill the promise he’d given her… 

“Fine.” Robin breathed out, hiding a wince behind his mask as he felt a sting through his heart, as if his body was physically reacting to his decision to leave Raven here. “Let’s go.” He turned to them with an expressionless face and was the first one to start walking away. Even if his heart was breaking little by little with each step he made. He’ll find a way how to save her. He  _ had _ to.


	8. The hunt for Raven

“Then  _ perish _ .” The image of Raven’s powers manifesting a hand that ripped into Circe’s chest and pulled out her heart still flashed before his eyes. Diana had been right. The fight did end up in a death. It would have been a short death though, thanks to the immortality of a goddess. However… Even with Circe’s powers, she wouldn’t be able to regenerate herself after her own servants ripped her to pieces as soon as they were free from her spell. The servants turned against their master. He’d seen it happen so many times before. 

They then literally  _ dragged  _ her remains down to hell and that was it. The dust of the fight settled and a dreading silence set in among them. Kory, Damian and Diana had just been on their way out of that huge place with barely conscious Gar, Jaime and Donna in their hands when they saw the end of the fight. And it stopped them in their tracks, their breaths stuck in their throats as they watched completely helpless.

Probably the most horrific sight most of them had seen. And Raven stood by it without even batting an eye. Her stare had been so cold, even Damian felt a shiver down his spine. That was the moment when he knew there might be no saving her. No. Not even  _ might _ . There  _ was _ no saving her. She had become a demon completely and without a shred of doubt. Killing Circe sealed that for everyone. But still… 

They’d all been together as a team for years. They were friends.  _ Family _ , almost. As hard as it was to admit that Raven had gone down a very dark path, it was even harder to acknowledge the fact that they needed to  _ do _ something about it. Especially if it were to come to the worst possible scenario. Were they even ready for this? Everyone was quiet. They had been quiet ever since returning to the Tower. Guess it took time to process it all, which was absolutely fair. But Damian knew they had to act. And as soon as possible before something terrible happened.

He frequently mulled over the last conversation they’d had, while searching for signs of her in various search engines and satellite images. She’d been smart enough to destroy her tracking device, making the search for her harder. And yet, how hard would it be to spot a red-skinned four-eyed demon in the streets? Unless she was  _ hiding _ . But hiding from what?

After killing Circe she didn’t attempt to attack them either, even though it could’ve been  _ so _ easy with half the team out of commission. She didn’t do  _ anything _ , in fact, besides opening a portal and disappearing into thin air. Not even a glance towards them. Not a word. Nothing. Which meant her goal couldn’t be to straight-out kill them. No, it had to be something  _ more _ . So Damian kept a close eye on Middle East where just a few years back she’d opened a portal to unleash her father onto this world, thinking that she may attempt doing that again. But even there nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. And it puzzled him.  _ Worried  _ him.

What could she possibly want? 

“Damian…”

What was she planning to do?

“Damian?”

Where  _ was  _ she?

“Damian!”

His head suddenly jerked up from his computer screen and looked behind him to see Donna standing in the doorway with a tray of food in her hands despite another one with food still stood on his table. Damian could only groan at this disturbance.

“I told you I’m not hungry.” And his eyes turned back to the computer, hoping the girl would just leave him be. But she sighed and stepped closer regardless.

“You need to  _ eat _ , Damian.” She put the tray of food right next to him. “First of all, you’ve been locked up in this room for  _ days _ and, second of all, we’re no servants to keep bringing you food that you won’t eat.”

“I never  _ asked _ you to bring me food.” He grumbled, his green eyes flickering between the many surveillance footages he had open as he was  _ clearly _ disinterested in the food she’d brought him. That was until he felt a spoon touch his lips.

“What are you doing?!” Damian jerked back and glared at the girl, who’d taken a seat by the desk and tried to feed him. 

“If you’re going to act like a baby, I’m going to treat you like a baby.” As amused as she looked, there was a certain seriousness behind her words.

“I am no child!”

“Then  _ eat _ .” She pushed the spoon towards him once more only for him to lean away from it, his stare never leaving her eyes. Now it felt like they entered a staring contest. And neither of them were ready to give up for the longest time. But Damian knew how persistent she could be and this was only wasting his time that he could spend searching for Raven. So he really had no other choice but to give in eventually.

“Fine.” He sighed and grabbed the spoon from her hand, eating with the most displeased look on his face,  _ even though _ it actually tasted really good. It was the smug grin on her face that kept him from enjoying the food. Her features changed, however, when she glanced over to the computer screen, scanning the images and videos. 

“Still nothing, huh?” She asked softly and only received a hum in response. “Damian, I know most of you have known her longer than I have and that she meant a lot to you specifically, but--”

“Don’t talk about her like she’s  _ dead _ ,” he was quick to interrupt her. Wincing slightly once she realized what she’d said, her head slowly turned to look at him. He looked angry-- No, not quite angry. More like…  _ hurt _ . Which was shocking. No matter what happened, Damian always managed to compose himself, to not lose his head and keep his cool in stressful situations. But this right here--  _ This _ was getting to him. And the pain he was feeling right now was leaking through the cracks of his solid exterior. Even Donna could see it, so she quickly muttered an apology. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying”-- she rubbed the back of her neck, unsure how to put her thoughts into words properly-- “ _ Is  _ there any way we can, you know, bring her back? To her human self, I mean.”

Damian didn’t quite know how to answer that. Releasing a sigh, he lowered the plate in his hands and thought for a moment. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it. But he didn’t have a lot to go on. The last time this had happened, it was all on her father. Trigon  _ needed _ her to open the portal for him. So he could bring destruction to this world. And they stopped him by trapping him. But this time-- It was  _ her _ . She was the one who said she wanted to see the world burn. And they couldn’t exactly do the same thing she did with Trigon. So bringing her back to her human self seemed--

“Her human self…” He drawled and blinked in sudden realization, confusing Donna as she watched his features change in an instant and his hands reaching to the keyboard to type something. “Circe pulled Raven’s soul out of her. Her  _ human _ part. And it  _ escaped _ her grip.”

“What--? Are you really thinking of trying to find a  _ human soul _ ?” She chuckled in disbelief.

“Her soul is no ordinary soul. It  _ has _ to give off some kind of… radiation. Something we can trace. That we can’t see on a computer screen.” Somehow he felt very confident about his words. “I’ll need to contact Zatanna.”

Donna watched him for a moment later, unsure if this sudden burst of confidence was put in the right direction. To her, it seemed like a shot in the dark. But maybe Damian was onto something. Either way, it didn’t hurt to try. They were running short on ideas anyway.

“I’ll let Kory know.” She nodded and stood up, ready to leave the room, but not before she took the untouched plate of food from earlier. “Finish your food.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He mumbled, only half-listening to her, but his hand still reached for the plate he’d set next to him on the desk.


	9. The fight for the soul

The room was mostly dark, with candles scattered all around, lighting the room just enough to see one another. They were all sat in a circle, in the middle of which a symbol was drawn on the floor. None of them quite knew what to expect. Some were skeptic about this even working, some were worried that this plan would fail just like all the other ones they had tried so far. But everyone was dead quiet. At this point, they were willing to try  _ anything _ at all.

A spell was cast and the symbol lit up. For a while, the room was still incredibly silent with the exception of the silent otherworldly murmuring of Zatanna as she continued the spell. It felt like everyone was holding their breath as they waited for something to happen. The air was so dense you could cut it with an axe. It was the fourth… fifth? Time that they were doing this already. 

Jaime argued that if the spell didn’t work the first time around, it wouldn’t work for the next three either. But Damian insisted to try again. And again. And  _ again _ . He wasn’t going to give up this easily when this was probably their best shot at finding her. And at  _ saving  _ her. There was no way he was giving up on this plan just yet.

“Damian…” Kory whispered, leaning closer to the boy, “I think it’s--”

“Not yet, Kory,” he was quick to interrupt her, his green eyes never leaving the changing rays of light in front of him as he desperately tried to find something that wasn’t there before.

The Tamaranean sighed softly and sat up straight again, though her face expressed concern. For Damian. For Raven. For this whole thing. It felt like they had been at it for hours and with little to no results. Whenever they thought they found something, it disappeared almost immediately and their hopes were shattered over and over again. But he didn’t want to give up. He  _ couldn’t _ . 

“Just a little longer,” a quiet voice grabbed Kory’s attention and she looked over to Gar who gave her a small smile as a silent request to give it a bit more time. Even in this dimly lit room she could still see that there was hope in his eyes too. They  _ all _ wanted to find her. And despite how baffling the idea sounded at the time, she was certain Zatanna knew what she was doing, so if there was anyone who could help them, it had to be her. 

“Zatanna, is that…  _ it _ ?” Donna’s voice suddenly made everyone jerk up and look at where the girl was pointing. Everyone released a quiet gasp when they saw a levitating orb amidst ever changing the rays of light.

“It is,” Zatanna nodded and frowned a little bit, readjusting her focus, “now we have to hope we don’t  _ lose  _ it this time before I determine where exactly she is.” 

The orb seemed to be constantly changing shape and disappearing, like a beeping dot on a radar screen, but Zatanna did her best to keep track of it.

“Why does it keep doing that?” Kory asked the magician.

“I think… She’s trying to stay on this plane.” She responded. 

“What do you mean  _ this plane _ ?” Gar asked, slightly confused by the phrasing.

“Her aura disappearing and reappearing like that means that she’s trapped between two planes of existence. Dimensions, if you will,” Zatanna explained as an idea crossed her mind.

“Stand aside.” She instructed the Titans, who got up immediately and stepped back, as she cast a spell that made a holographic-looking map appear right above Zatanna’s symbol on the floor. But it didn’t look like any map any of them had ever seen before. Now, every time the orb disappeared from the light rays, it appeared in the map below it, making her release a hum in confirmation of her suspicion. All the while, the team just exchanged worried and confused look among one another, waiting for an explanation. 

“She’s stuck between Earth and… purgatory,” Zatanna stated, seeing the confusion in the room. “Since she’s neither alive nor dead, she can’t go to heaven. Or hell. But she’s forcing herself to stay here. That’s why she’s falling in and out of existence.”

“Great, we have that settled, can you find her now?” Damian was glad they finally got a stable  _ connection _ , so to speak, but he was getting impatient and just wanted this to be done and over with. Zatanna nodded and tried to pinpoint where on  _ Earth _ Raven was currently at. And a tense silence settled in once again until the others noticed a frown forming on her face.

“Is there a reason why she would be in the Middle East?” Zatanna asked suddenly and Damian frowned.

“Probably for the same reason I’ve been keeping an eye on that place.” He replied and saw it in her face that she expected him to elaborate, but, honestly, he didn’t feel like it was the best idea right now. “Explanations can wait, we need to get there.”

“Is there a way we can contain a soul somewhere?” Donna asked and looked at Zatanna.

“There can be a way, yeah.” The woman nodded after a moment of thinking.

“Nrut eht pam otni a ssapmoc!” Zatanna cast a spell and the holographic map shrunk down to the size of a compass, levitating right above her right palm. 

“Maybe we should get some backup before going there,” Kory suggested.

“Yeah, if Raven shows up… God knows what could happen,” Jaime finally spoke up after being quiet this whole time. Of course, no one wanted to admit that they were scared of the possibility to face their friend, but the reality was what it was right now. Anything could happen and they weren’t sure they were ready for it yet.

“We’ll do it when we get there,” Damian responded dryly before shifting his gaze to the magician again. “We have no time to lose. Any chance you can help us with getting to where she is?”

Zatanna smiled a little with a nod and cast another spell: “Deal su ot s’nevaR luos!” And with that a portal opened right next to her and everyone walked through, stepping onto a very familiar place to most of them once they were on the other side of it. This place brought back memories. And it was weird to be here again.

“It’s straight ahead of us,” Zatanna said once she came out of the portal as well, oblivious to the inner tensions among the team members. Quickly pulling themselves together again, they followed the marker on their magical compass. But the further they walked, the more it seemed like something was off.

“Guys, do you remember this place looking like this?” Jaime asked somewhat unsurely.

“I mean, it looks the same, but… It  _ feels _ different,” Korry added with a frown on her face as she looked around.

“It’s giving me the heebie jeebies,” Gar shook a little as he felt a shiver down his spine.

The team exchanged words about how creepy the place felt and something about dark forces surrounding it, while Damian was deep in thought about how he could’ve missed all this. Nothing in  _ any _ of the surveillance cameras ever changed. Checking it even now, everything seemed to be in order.  _ God damn it! _ How could he have been so stupid? Of course she’d hide her tracks! It seemed like full demon mode Raven had quite a few tricks up her sleeve. And he didn’t like it. This meant she was even more unpredictable than he had anticipated. But then… 

A sudden stop.

A collective gasp.

“Well, I was wondering when you’d all show up,” Seeing the group in the distance, a mocking laugh came from a certain red-skinned girl, currently sitting on a chair on top of the hill, making it look almost like a throne. But it wasn’t the most shocking thing about it. The more frightening fact was that she was surrounded by hundreds of demons at the bottom of the hill with a portal opened behind her where more demons kept coming from.

“She’d been raising an army this whole time,” Kory gasped, looking at the horde.

“How did we miss this?!” Jaime exclaimed. “Robin, how did we  _ miss  _ this?”

“This place is surrounded by magic,” Zatanna was quick to explain. “Can’t be detected by normal cameras.”

Jaime cursed under his nose, while Kory tried to reach Dick to call for backup because at this point it was  _ crystal clear _ that they would need it, but to no avail. “Comms don’t seem to work either.”

“Great,” Damian gritted his teeth and looked directly at Raven who easily caught his stare as well. Even hidden behind his mask, she could feel the hurt and rage in his eyes. 

“That’s why the soul’s roaming around too,” Zatanna then mused with a hint of sadness in her voice, looking up at a small glow in the foggy sky. “It’s too weak to pass through the barrier.”

“Then we have to break it,” Damian said, looking up as well.

“The only way to do that might have to be--”

“I know,” he frowned at her and spoke with determination, facing forwards again. “We  _ will break _ it.” 

If there really was no other way this could go, the least they could do was to save her soul. He made a promise and he intended to keep it. But he wasn’t going to abandon the hope to save her till his very last breath.


	10. The loss

A/N:

This is the first time ever that I have to use this, but… Trigger warning: death. So yeah.

* * *

 

“Give it up already! You know you can’t win!” 

“When have you  _ ever _ seen us give up, Raven?” Robin gave her a sly grin and pointed his sword at her. “Why don’t you come down here and fight? Are you afraid to lose against me?”

He mocked her, doing his best to have her attention on him and the rest of the Titans on the battlefield while Zatanna had sneaked up behind her to try and close the portal where more and more demons kept coming out from. It wasn’t an easy task to have her go undetected, so they had been at it for a while now. They were getting tired, but far from willing to give up. 

At the call out, Raven frowned and stood from her throne. “I am more powerful than you all combined, I’m not”-- But her sentence was cut short when she suddenly noticed her portal getting closed. “What?!” Enraged and surprised, she turned around and saw Zatanna down there who got instantly ambushed by the demons residing right next to the now closed portal.

“That’s it, no more playing around,” her four glowing eyes glared down at the Titans, “it’s time to get serious,” She spoke and her feet lifted from the ground, slowly levitating up as she continued. “If  _ you _ think that this was the only portal I had set up, then you are sorely mistaken. What do you  _ think _ I’ve been doing for the past few days?” She laughed. “I want the world to burn and it  _ shall _ . This was my father’s wish. And I am here to bring forth his destiny!”

And with that she closed her eyes and reached her hands up to her forehead, making the red gem hover in between her palms. Slowly extending her arms forward, she chanted for the release of Trigon.

“S-she’s summoning her father..!” Beast Boy exclaimed in shock.

“ _ Again _ ?!” Blue Beetle threw his hands up in the air. “We barely got rid of the guy the  _ last _ time already!”

“Which means we have to stop her before she gets to that,” Robin concluded and turned to Zatanna. “Zatanna! Teleport me up there!”

“To Raven?” The magician asked in a bit of confusion and looked up to where Raven was.

“Robin, what are you saying? The fall might kill you, I’ll go!” Starfire protested as she fought off some demons that still kept coming at them. 

While he understood that Starfire had a point, he knew that it had to be him. He had weighed all options well before and he’d come to the conclusion that she wouldn’t do what needed to be done because it was  _ Raven _ . She would try to find another way. A better way. But there was none. He knew this. That’s why  _ he _ was the one that needed to do this.

“This isn’t up for debate, Starfire!” Robin snapped back. “Zatanna!”

“Very well,” she sighed and extended her arms, one towards Robin and one up to Raven. “Nepo a rood morf niboR ot nevaR!”

A portal opened next to Robin and one right above Raven, which she noticed just a second too late because he had already lunged at her, his sword drawn to her neck. Avoiding a direct hit, she grabbed his arms to hold them in place, losing her magical grip on the gem letting it fall to the ground along with the two of them.

“You don’t have the guts, Damian.”

“I’m a keeper of my word, Raven.”

“But you  _ care _ too much,” she grinned. “I can sense all your feelings, remember? Even the ones you try to keep hidden away. Even now, you think you can  _ save _ me.”

“Maybe I can,” he frowned.

“ _ Wrong _ ,” Raven nearly growled and suddenly stopped herself from falling by composing herself and flying, while he kept lunging towards the ground. “You can’t save me!” She yelled out and her magic force wrapped around his foot, seemingly to prevent him from hitting the ground, only to swing him around and throwing him against the concrete with brute force.

“Robin!” Wonder Girl gasped and flew towards Raven ready for an attack, but she easily deflected it and threw the Amazon several feet away as well. 

“Raven, you have to stop this!” Beast Boy yelled and made his way towards her as well, but not to attack. Somehow he still believed he could talk her out of it. They were  _ friends _ , after all. They all were. It  _ had _ to mean something, right?

“I don’t have to do  _ shit _ ,” she snapped back at him, but let him get closer as her feet touched the ground once again, her eyes sharply focused on the shapeshifter.

“Please, I know the real Raven is still somewhere in there,” he pleaded and stood just a few feet from her. “It can’t just be gone like that. Look up there”-- Beast Boy pointed at the glow in the sky-- “It’s your  _ soul _ , Rae. It’s still there. You can still come back from this. There’s still a chance.”

“Oh, Gar,” Raven cooed with a hint of mockery in her voice, “you’ve always been so… so **_stupidly_** naive.” All of a sudden, her smile turned into an evil grin and in an instant he was wrapped in the dark matter of her powers up to his neck. “What on Earth makes you think I **_want_** to go back? **_This_** is the real Raven right here. I’m **_free_** from the chains that held me back! I’m **_stronger_** than ever!” Her voice was more of a growl now that she spoke and watched him gasp for air as she was slowly strangling him. “And **_you_** think you can stand in **_my_** way?! That you’re all **_saviours_** , all of a sudden?! **_Wake up_** from your fantasy world! I’m exactly where I’m”--

Her words were suddenly cut and it was now her who was gasping for air. The grip of her magic on Beast Boy loosened and her wide four eyes looked down at her chest. It… was bleeding. What’s more… There was a blade sticking out of it… 

“D-dami--” She dragged her last breath before the blade was pulled out from her and she fell to the ground, revealing Robin standing right behind her, a light shake in his hands.

“RAVEN!” Beast Boy screamed once he regained his strength and rushed to catch her as she fell. “No! No, no, no, no, no! Come on!” He turned her around in his arms, her blood flowing all over him as her lifeless eyes looked up at him. “Raven, please!” He cried out, but it was no use. She was gone.

Robin didn’t even dare to look at her. Barely standing on his feet, he mindlessly cleaned the sword against the sleeve of his uniform and put it away all with one hand, as the other was surely broken because of the fall. There was no doubt there were other injuries as well. But he’d worry about that later. Right now he was too numb to feel anything. His world had gotten entirely quiet and empty. He didn’t even hear Gar’s crying and then the angry outlash at him.

“You killed her!” The changeling growled and stood to his feet after gently placing Raven’s body on the ground. “Why did you do that?!” He raised his voice when he realized that Damian wasn’t even listening, walking up to him and grabbing him by the collar, which finally seemed to snap him out of it. “We could’ve saved her! You… you maniac!”

“She made it perfectly clear she didn’t want to be saved!” He frowned and jerked away from the other’s grip.

“Killing her was  _ never _ an option!” In his anger and grief, Gar shifted into one of those demonic beings and lunged towards Damian, who barely fended him off due to the sustained injuries he already had.

“Get off me, you beast!” Damian grunted and pushed the other away only for him to go in for another attack before Kory stepped in between them.

“Stop it! Gar! Please!” She turned to Gar with a pleading gaze, her hands shaking and eyes filling with tears the very moment she glanced towards Raven. “We still have a fight to win…” In the middle of all this they’d completely forgotten about the demons that were still scattered about, making their way to the city now that Raven’s magic barrier had dispersed. “We’ll deal with  _ this _ later.” A sharp look was shot at Damian before she flew back into the field, followed by Gar who allowed himself to let his anger out on the remaining demons. 

* * *

 

“You shouldn’t be here…”

The silence was broken and Damian didn’t have to look behind him to recognize the voice. For a moment, he was hesitant with his response, trying to find a good reason. But in the end, what did it matter anyway?

“There’s a lot of things I shouldn’t be. The real question is why  _ you’re _ here, Grayson.”

“Couldn’t reach you,” Dick answered truthfully as he stepped next to the younger boy. “Figured this would be the place you’d be.”

“ _ Tt. _ ” Damian frowned, but refrained from responding as he kept his gaze forwards.

The room wasn’t very well lit. It was cold and had an eerie feeling to it. Which made sense, seeing that there was a coffin lying right in front of them. A part of him had wanted to open it to say his goodbyes, but somehow it was too hard for him to do. So he had opted to standing there just like that. Company was something he hadn’t expected in a place like this, however.

“The funeral’s only tomorrow, you know,” Dick spoke up again to break the silence between them once more. There was a part of him that wanted to consult Damian, to comfort him in his time of grief, but… He wasn’t quite sure how.

“I’m aware,” he was curt in his answer.

“Damian, look,” the other sighed and turned fully to Damian, “if you want to talk about”--

“What is it with you all and  _ talking _ ? Everyone’s offering to  _ talk _ . No. I don’t  _ want _ to talk,” his green eyes shot up at Dick and squinted at him, making sure he knew he was  _ serious _ about this. But the older male wasn’t swayed much. He knew this feeling very well. So he remained calm and gentle with his brother.

“What  _ do _ you want then?”

“Nothing you can get me.”

“Is there any way I can try?” Dick cocked his head to the side and offered him a bit of a smile, but it didn’t seem to do much. Damian’s frown remained and he shifted his gaze to the closed coffin once again before stuffing his hands in his pockets and turning around to leave.

“You  _ know  _ what I want, Grayson,” he spoke as he walked away, his eyes focused on the ground, catching a glimpse of the red gem in a pendant around his neck that was shimmering in the light, “just like you  _ know  _ it’s an impossible thing to want.”

* * *

 

“ _ AAAAAAAAAAAAH! _ ” A shriek resounded in the entire place, bringing everyone’s attention in an instant.

“What happened?!” Jaime asked, rushing into the room where Kory was and gasping at the sight himself.

“What”-- Dick ran in with the rest of them and didn’t even have to ask. The sight explained everything. 

“Somebody has  _ stolen _ Raven’s body!” Kory screamed, still terrified at the realization.

“Who would do such a thing?!” Gar threw his hands in the air and watched Dick as he started looking around.

“ _ Why _ would anyone do that?” Dick mused to himself, looking for any traces that could lead them to the culprit. But after a few minutes of investigation, a sudden thought struck him and he instantly scanned everyone in the room. “Where’s Damian?”

The sudden question confused everyone, but they all looked at one another and realized that the boy in question was indeed missing. 

“Do you  _ really _ think he could’ve”-- the thought almost disgusted Gar to the point that he was unable to finish his sentence.

“I need a ride,” Dick suddenly demanded and rushed to the door. “A jet!”

The request didn’t clear  _ anything _ up for anyone and they were left dumbfounded as they watched the man leave, but Kory went to help him arrange the transport, even if she didn’t know what it was for. What was going on? Dick said he had no time to explain. And they really did not have a lot of time, as the funeral was to take place tomorrow afternoon. What would they do if they had no body to bury?!

Dick had to be fast. If his suspicions were right, he needed to act fast. Before Damian did something stupid. Their conversation earlier, the way he had been acting ever since her body was brought to the funeral home, the way the body just  _ disappeared  _  from the coffin… It was too much to be just a coincidence. And the fact that he was not responding to any kind of contact didn’t help his case either. Now Dick could only hope he wouldn’t be too late.

Several hours later, he finally arrived.

“Nanda Parbat,” Dick sighed and the radar suddenly picked up one of their jets. “There you are.”

Making his way there, he  _ prayed _ he would catch Damian in time. Jumping out of the plane, he rushed inside. The facilities had long been abandoned, so thankfully he didn’t have to worry about the League here. 

“Damian!” The man exclaimed as he opened the door to a large room underground with what looked like a pool in the middle of it, right as Damian readied to place the body inside of it.

“Stay back, Grayson!” He warned the other.

“Damian, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m fixing things!”

“ _ This _ isn’t fixing! You know this,” Dick tried to reason as he took careful steps closer. “You  _ know _ what the Lazarus Pit does. Better than anyone.”

“I know what it does. That’s why I’m here in the first place.”

“No, Damian… You might not want to admit this, but this is your grief clouding your better judgement.”

“The hell it is!”

“Just  _ think _ about it! What will you be bringing back?”

“I’m bringing  _ her _ back, damn it!”

“No! Not who.  _ What _ . An empty shell of a being. A deadman walking. She will be  _ nothing _ like Raven. Come on, Damian.  _ Think _ ,” Dick pleaded, now just a couple feet from the other, carefully reaching for him once he was close enough. “This isn’t you. And this won’t be  _ her _ .” His voice was soft as he placed a hand on Damian’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Then what am I supposed to do?!” Damian suddenly yelled out and looked up at the other, his eyes filling with tears, which took Dick by surprise. “What am I supposed to do to make it better?! To make this fucking pain in my chest go away?! I can’t even bare to look at her without feeling like half of my insides have been ripped out!”

“D-damian…” The other breathed out, completely taken aback by this sudden reaction that he had  _ never _ seen from Damian.

“I killed her, Grayson!” The boy cried out. “I killed her!”

“Hey, no, shhhh…” He quickly pulled Damian in a tight embrace, letting him cry in his chest as he felt his hands grip onto his shirt. “You saved her from herself, Damian… And you saved countless innocent lives because of that. It was the only way…” 

“It doesn’t make it any easier!”

“I know… I know. And it’ll take time. And it’ll be hard for a while. But, trust me, it gets easier. It’ll get easier.”

_ Time heals all wounds, right? _


	11. The spirit of Raven

Blinding light.

Complete darkness.

Blinding light.

Voices in the distance.

Crying.

Blinding light. 

“...We have gathered here today to celebrate the life of…”

_Celebrate the life…?_

_No… No, please don’t cry._

_I’m right here…_

_Please…._

Complete darkness.

“...was a great friend…”

_Hey! No! I’m here!_

Blinding light.

Indistinct figures.

Shuffling of feet.

“...We have to move on somehow…”

“...So it’s over? Just like that?...”

_No… Wait!_

“...You can’t just ignore what happened!...”

“...You don’t get to tell me how to feel!...”

_You don’t have to do this!_

_Why won’t you listen?_

Complete darkness.

Silence.

For the longest time. 

Nothing but silence.

Then suddenly, ringing in her ears.

_Where is it coming from?_

Going forwards… No. Not there. To the right. Maybe? The ringing was getting louder. _What’s that?_ A light? A red light. Like a single star in the sky. Her feet started moving faster. She had no idea where she was going and yet, she knew _exactly_ what she was heading for. The ringing got louder. The darkness slowly dispersed. Before she even realized it, she was running. Out of breath, but she kept running. Faster. Closer. Out of this darkness. Away from the silence. 

Blinding light.

She stopped and closed her eyes. Slowly opening them after a moment, she adjusted to the light and looked around. Where was she? She didn’t recognize this place. It was spacious. Old, but well kept. Paintings on the wall. Expensive looking furniture and decorations. Lots of antiques. Grand staircase leading up to a second floor. It was filled with a lot of things and it still somehow felt… empty. 

Raven walked through this unfamiliar house, looking all around, wondering why she ended up here. Why _here_ , of all places? A place she didn’t even know? A hand brushed along the intricate design of the door handle in front of her. There was no feeling in her fingertips, but she liked to pretend that she did still feel. Her silent admiration of the place was then interrupted by another door closing on the right from her. 

_D-damian…?_

There he was, standing at the end of the hallway to her side, staring what it felt like _right_ at her. But he couldn’t be. Could he? If she had a beating heart, it would definitely skip a beat right about now. Their eyes met. Shock. And confusion. And fear. Even a hint of relief and happiness. A mixture of so many emotions ran through both of them, as they both stood frozen in their place. But he was the first to break this strange standoff.

“Great, _now_ I’ve completely lost it,” the boy grumbled under his breath and rubbed his eyes, continuing on his way down the hallway. “Hallucinating now… I’m not even _that_ sleep deprived…”

“W-wait, what?” She gasped softly, her gaze following him as he walked past her. “You can _see_ me?”

“But maybe I _should_ get some sleep,” he kept mumbling to himself, seemingly not having heard her speak up. But… He saw her. He _definitely_ did. He was just having a hard time believing it. Which was understandable, of course. 

Finally snapping out of her own state of shock, Raven quickly went after him, afraid to lose him in this maze of a house. If he truly could see her, she needed to convince him that she was really there. Somehow… 

“Damian, wait!” She called out to him and tried to reach out for his hand, but it made no _contact_ , instead her hand went straight right through his. A cold shudder ran down his spine and he stopped without consciously wanting to. Looking down at his hand that had gotten cold all of a sudden, a glance was spared in her direction as well. But a sting in his heart didn’t allow him to linger there for much longer.

“What, have you come to haunt me now?” His voice was monotone as he spoke before continuing on his way back to his room. Of course, in his right mind he didn’t want to believe that she was _actually_ there. But he also couldn’t deny that he could see her and hear her clear as day. And the many instances they had dealt with the occult and the supernatural in the past had taught him to be less sceptical about these kinds of things. Even if it was still very hard to do.

“H-haunt you?” Her brows knitted in confusion as she followed him. “No.”

“ _Tt_. Then why are you here?”

“I-- I’m not sure,” she stumbled on her words. “Something _brought_ me here.”

“Like _what_ ?” Damian couldn’t help but scoff. There was a mixture of pain and frustration in his voice. A part of it was because he couldn’t believe he was talking to Raven’s _ghost_. Or whatever this was. Another part of it was that this just felt like another way of punishment for what he’d done. As if the constant nightmares weren’t enough already. 

Truth to be told, she wasn’t sure about what exactly brought her here either. And saying that she just followed the _light_ , seemed so ridiculous now. But when he stopped and turned to open the door to his room, something caught her eye.

“The gem,” Raven breathed out and her eyes were met with his. “ _You_ kept it?” At first it seemed that he didn’t really know how to respond. But he didn’t let his solid exterior crack.

“I wasn’t just going to leave it at the Tower _unsupervised_ ,” his answer was dry, but deep down she knew it was more than just that. And she couldn’t help but smile. Then he disappeared into his room without another word and she hesitated to follow him. No. She couldn’t let go now. She needed to get through to him. He was her _only_ chance. So she bit her lip and entered the room as well, right through the closed door, which immediately caught his attention.

“ _Seriously_ , can you”--

“The gem brought me here,” she quickly cut him off.

“What?”

“The gem,” she pointed at it, “I followed its red light. I-- I think we’re still connected. Because, well, technically it _is_ a part of me.”

“Then why now?” A frown formed on his forehead.

“I’m sorry?”

“Why _now_ , Raven?” He raised his voice in frustration. “I’ve had the gem with me ever since I-- Ever since you _died_ ! I’ve never let it out of my hands! Why didn’t you come sooner then if you’ve been able to-- do whatever _this_ is?”

“Damian, I-- It’s not as easy as you think,” she wanted to explain, but she didn’t know how, “I don’t even _know_ what this is.” Her eyes looked down at her semi transparent hands that gave off a faint glow. 

He watched her, his gaze darkened with anger. Angry at her. Angry at himself. Angry at _everything_ . Why was she here now? Why couldn’t she have appeared sooner? Why did he have to go through everything he did after she was gone? It had been days… weeks… months. How many, he wasn’t sure anymore. The sleepless nights mashed it all together. An hour passed after an hour, light was followed by dark and back again. His father was worried. Grayson was worried. Hell, even Drake expressed his concern. But they all knew. They knew what grief was like. And Damian was sure they wanted him to cope in the best way possible, but… At the time, he needed to deal with it the only way he knew how to. Bury it and keep going. Fight criminals, solve mysteries, release the anger on some motherfucker’s face… It wasn’t pretty. But it was what it was. And he _wished_ he could say it was going better, but the truth was… that it really wasn’t.

No matter how much he tried not to think about it, it came back to haunt him in the moments he least expected it. Flashbacks of the last fight, their _fake_ dates, their promise… the moments of peace with her… the dance they shared… his blade going through her heart… Everything about her _hurt_. And he hated it. He hated how much he cared. He hated that it had to be her. Oftentimes, he caught himself by the thought that he wished it had been him instead.

And now in all of this mess that he still was, _she_ just decided to appear out of nowhere, claiming to have followed the gem. What _bullshit_ was that?! If she could follow the gem, she could’ve done it a long time ago. At this point, he couldn’t explain why, but he was boiling with anger. Somewhere deep down he knew he should be happy to even be able to see her face. Or be terrified that he was being haunted by her ghost. But right now, he wanted to be angry. He _needed_ to. So before he even knew it, the first thing he got his hands on, which in this case was a pair of scissors from his desk, flew against the wall with such strength that they got stuck in there, startling Raven.

“Why didn’t you come when I called out to you?! When I _prayed_ for you to come back? When I did everything I could to find ways to bring you back? Why didn’t you come then?” His voice rose with every sentence that left his lips, his eyes squinting at her, fists shaking by his sides. And Raven could only stand there in silence, observing him unleash his built up emotions. She knew this must be the first time in a very long time that he let himself _feel_. So she let him. 

“I searched for you, Raven! I tried to find a way! I wanted to”-- but somehow admitting that he wanted to put her into the Lazarus Pit felt too pathetic and embarrassing, so he stopped himself-- “I did _so_ much. Until I realized I had to let go…” Damian’s breath became heavy and his shoulders dropped as his body eased up once again.

She let him calm down for a moment longer before taking a careful step closer, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke. “How long have I been gone?”

“About”-- his eyes darted back and forth as he had to think for a second-- “More than half a year.”

A heavy sigh escaped her lips. More than half a year. Such a long time. And yet, not enough to mend. Not enough to get past a loss. Now Raven understood completely why he reacted the way that he did.

“Why _now_ , Raven?” The same question once more, but this time with much more pain in his voice, as he sat down on his bed and held his head in his hands. “After everything…”

“I don’t  _ know _ , Damian,” she repeated with despair in her voice. “I’ve also been trying. I’ve been thrown around between this reality and another. Without anyone seeing me. Or even  _ hearing  _ me. I could only see glimpses of what was happening before I was thrown back again to some-- I don’t know, world  _ between _ worlds. It’s like some kind of  _ purgatory _ . I don’t know.”

If she could physically cry right now, she probably would. And it was very apparent in her voice. There was still so much confusion between them about this whole situation. Was it only because of the gem that Damian could see her? Or that she was stable enough on this plane of existence to even have this conversation? Why  _ didn’t _ it bring her to him sooner? These were the questions that were probably not going to be answered. Maybe they didn’t need to be. The fact was that she was here and she could talk to him. Talk to  _ someone _ . And that gave her hope.

“It’s uh,” she then continued with a sad chuckle to break the tension clearly evident in the air, “kind of surreal seeing your own funeral, you know?”

“You were _there_?” His head made a sharp turn towards her, his eyes widening a little as he could feel his heart sink to his stomach.

“For a little bit, yeah,” Raven answered truthfully and held a moment of pause, somewhat hesitating to continue, “And um… I was also there _before_ that… I caught a bit of what you tried to do for me before”--

“You mean what I tried to do _to_ you?” A sharp glance was shot her way.

“You had good intentions.”

“No, no, I had _selfish_ intentions, Raven,” he argued and got up from the bed. “I fulfilled my promise and I couldn’t live with myself for it. In a moment of weakness I was ready to bring back an empty shell just so I could--!” He stopped mere inches away from her, his hands extended forwards like he’d wanted to grab her arms, but refrained himself from doing so in the last moment, realizing that it was still a… _ghost_ that he was talking to. Grunting in frustration, he turned on his heel and walked away from her again.

“Damian…”

“Maybe that’s why you’re here now.”

“ _\--What_?”

“To keep reminding me how I failed you,” a side glance showed her all the pain and hurt in his eyes and it nearly broke her heart.

“Damian, no. You didn’t-- I-- Now that I’m here, I think there’s a better way.”

“A better way for what?” 

“... To bring me back,” she spoke with confidence and a deadly silence set in the room. He slowly turned back to her, his eyes full of confusion and surprise.

“But the Lazarus Pit is”--

“Is _not_ the only way.”

Damian couldn’t deny the confidence and determination in her voice and in her eyes. A part of him wanted to dismiss all of this. Write it off as a fever dream. To suppress it and forget it in hopes that it would disappear. But on the other hand… His heart was pounding in his chest at the thought of a _better way_ . Could it really be? An actual, _real_ chance to bring her back? Would it be a rational decision to make? But…. Did he have anything to lose?

“Elaborate,” he spoke with utter seriousness and she smiled in relief.

“There is a _book_.”


	12. The Book of Blood

It was late at night, the room was dark and silent, except for the keyboard of the computer clacking away. Blue eyes lazily scanned the several computer screens in front of them as new notifications popped up every now and then. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary or something that the police couldn’t handle. But it didn’t mean that work for him stopped. Dick used this to try finding new leads on a case he was currently working on. There was _always_ something to do, someone to find, some operation to stop. 

And even on this relatively quiet night, something was going on that caught his attention. A new notification appeared on his screen: ACTIVE ROBBERY. LOCATION: CHURCH OF BLOOD. ZANDIA.

Zandia had become a point of interest after the Teen Titans’ run-in with Deathstroke and the crazies of Brother Blood a couple years back. Dick had done some research on Blood and found information on the cult he had been leading. One can never be too safe, so he’d marked all known locations of the cult and places where the cult activity had been spotted in the past. Zandia was the place of origin and now it was getting _robbed_? That certainly was enough to peak his interest.

Leaning closer to the screen, he accessed the live feed cameras in the surrounding area to get a look at what was happening. After a quick sweep of the place, he finally found someone running away from the place with what seemed to be a book in their hands. 

“What’s so important in that book that made you go in there, buddy?” Dick asked himself and tried to get an image of the thief’s face, which, unfortunately for him, was covered by a mask up to his nose. His movements were very precise and elegant, it made it obvious right away that he wasn’t just a common thief. If anything, with the whole attire and stealth skills, it made the guy seem more like a _ninja_. And it made Dick even more suspicious. Who could that be? The League of Assassins? What business would _they_ have with the Church of Blood? 

But the more he focused on the movements, the more they seemed to be familiar. He most certainly recognized them. And it made him feel weird. Like an anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t want to believe it, but something in the back of his head was telling him that he was _right_. Finally, the computer got a clear shot of the guy’s face. Surely, he could only see the eyes, but it was enough to raise even more suspicion. Matching the image with his suspect, the computer confirmed a perfect match and Dick let out a chuckle in disbelief. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the images on his screen.

“Damian, what have you gotten yourself into?”

* * *

 

“Are you sure this is the right way?” 

“Of course, I am. It’s _made_ to look like there’s nothing here.”

“Well, you better be right,” Damian huffed as he rushed through the seemingly empty building, finding stairs that were leading down again and again.

“I am,” Raven said with confidence as she floated next to him.

After a while the stairs finally stopped and they stood in front of an old wooden door. Without much hesitation, he pushed it wide open, revealing a large pool in the middle of the room. Walking closer, he realized the pool was full of blood.

“Gross,” he murmured to himself, scrunching his nose at the sight.

“The Pool of Blood. It was used by Brother Blood to keep him young and strong,” Raven explained.

“And you’re sure this is the _better_ way?” Damian looked over to her, but could see her hesitate, as a sudden uncertainty had struck her. “Raven.”

“I-- I don’t know, Damian, it’s not like I’ve ever had to use it,” she scowled at him.

“Are you kidding me right now? We came all this way--”

“Look. All I know is that it needs the Book of Blood and a soul to work while the Lazarus Pit revives corpses. Empty shells. You _have_ to admit that this is a far better option.”

“ _Tt_.” His brows formed into a small frown, as he glanced down to the seemingly ancient book in his hands. 

There were still a lot of uncertainties, a lot of what-ifs, a lot of possibilities on what could happen here. And he didn’t want to think about all that, but at the same time he couldn’t help it. What if this didn’t work? What if it wasn’t Raven he’d be bringing back? Now that they were _so_ close to doing this, so many questions were running through his mind, making him unable to move a muscle.

Raven noticed his hesitation and reached out to him. Even though she wasn’t physically able to touch him, he could still feel the cold shiver running down his shoulder, making his eyes turn to her and see her offering him a reassuring smile. Somehow it made it all better. Seeing her smile made his heart hurt in a very familiar way. And he was afraid to admit that he actually liked this kind of hurt. As long as she was there, he didn’t mind it.

“Right,” he cleared his throat and opened the large book, “let’s just do this. What are we looking for?”

“It has to be a revival spell or something like that,” Raven mused and stepped closer to help him look for the right one. It took them a while to find what seemed to be the spell they were looking for, which they double and triple checked just so there would be _no_ place for mistakes. This was a serious thing after all, they couldn’t afford to make a mistake now. 

“Okay, it _has_ to be it.” She breathed out with a nod. “Read it well. You have to cite it word for word, absolutely no deviations from the text. Make sure you--”

“I _get_ it, Raven,” he interrupted her, his nerves starting to get the better of him, “I get it. If I do this wrong, we’re _fucked_.”

“Sorry,” she quickly apologized and backed away a bit, turning to look down at the Pool of Blood.

A moment of silence set in between them as Damian focused on reading the spell, so he wouldn’t stumble on his words, and Raven stared at nothing in particular, deep in her own thoughts until she decided to voice them.

“You never failed me, you know.”

“What?” He snapped out of his focused state and looked at her in mild confusion.

“You said… you thought I’d come back to remind you how you failed me.” Her eyes slowly turned to face him, reflecting an eerie calmness. “You _didn’t_.”

“Raven--”

“You kept your promise.”

“I saw one solution and didn’t even _try_ to look for others.”

“I never expected you to.”

“You-- You _knew_ it would go the way that it did?” He squinted his eyes at her.

“I didn’t. But I could feel it,” she sighed and looked down at the pool of blood again. “Once my powers are unleashed, they spread like the plague. I knew that if Circe ever managed to get to me and finish-- or _try_ to finish-- binding me, there would be no stopping of the darkness. I knew there would be no _time_ for other solutions.”

“And you asked me because you knew I’d be the only one to actually do it, hm?”

“There was no one else I could turn to.” Raven let a shrug roll down her shoulder and her lips stretched into a small smile as she turned to him. “Besides, you wouldn’t have ever forgiven whomever had done it instead of you.”

Damian raised his eyebrows, realizing that it was actually a fair point, but decided against saying anything and returned his gaze back to the book. Taking a step closer to the pool and standing on the very edge of it now, Raven looked down at it, her expression changing to a very serious one again.

“If this actually works-- I might come out… _different_ ,” she mused to herself. “Coming back from the dead isn’t as easy as it sounds.”

“As long as you come back at all, I don’t care,” he spoke with the same seriousness in his voice and removed her gem from around his neck, holding it above the pool. “Ready?”

She couldn’t help but smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

A deep breath. A tight squeeze on the gem so it wouldn’t fall in before it was time. A focused look on the words before him. One more dreadingly long moment of silence before the incantation filled the empty room. Word for word. Slowly but surely. His heart was racing in his chest, hands trembling from the sheer pressure he felt weighing down on him in this moment. But he did his damn best to keep his head clear. He had to keep it clear from all the doubts and all the questions to avoid any possible mistake he could make. There was no way he could--

“Damian!”

Words suddenly got stuck in his throat and his heart skipped a beat when he turned his head to the side to see Grayson standing there. _What the hell was he doing here?_  

“Damian, what on Earth are you doing?!” He stepped closer, almost afraid of what he was trying to do here.

He wanted to reply and tell him to stay out of this, but he heard Raven whisper in his ear, “Don’t deviate, Damian. Keep reading!”

Right. He had to finish the spell. Quickly. He glanced back down to the book, but much to his terror he realized he’d lost his line. _Fuck! Where did he stop?! Shit, fuck, fuck!_ The nerves were _really_ getting to him now. What if he missed some words now? What if he repeated the ones he’d already spoken? What if he screwed up the spell?

“Damian, calm down.” Another gentle whisper. “You know exactly where you stopped.”

She was right. He was letting the pressure get to him. There was no way he was going to mess this up and risk losing her for good. He knew what he was doing. Taking another deep breath, he refocused and finally finished the incantation, dropping the gem into the pool with the last word of it. Then, there was silence. A terrifyingly long silence. Not even Dick dared to move or say anything, dreading what was about to happen.

Heavy breaths leaving his lips, Damian’s green eyes then turned to glance at the other. “You have no business being here, Grayson.”

“Well, shit, neither do you,” he snapped back. “Breaking and entering, Damian? _Stealing_? Really? What’s gotten into you? What _is_ this?”

“None of your goddamn business!”

“Damian, if this is about--” His sentence was interrupted by the sudden bubbling of the blood. Both of their gaze was immediately turned to the pool and they waited anxiously for whatever was going to happen. Moments later a figure broke through the blood with a loud gasp for air and Dick’s heart almost stopped when he saw a girl with the gem on her forehead emerge from the pool, while Damian quickly grabbed a towel and some clothes from the duffel bag he’d brought with him.

Violet eyes stared at him in silence, but he turned his head to his younger brother.

“Damian,” he gasped, “what have you _done_?”


	13. The return

“Home sweet home,” Dick sighed softly as he entered the small apartment, followed by Damian and a slightly disoriented Raven. Or what seemed to be Raven, anyway.

“Are you sure about this, Grayson?”

“This is one of  _ my _ safehouses. Not Bruce’s,” he explained and turned to the girl. “No one’s gonna find you here.”

“Thank you, Richard.” She smiled weakly and made her way to the window to look at the view outside.

“Richard? Now that’s new,” he mumbled to himself, only to get an elbow in his ribs.

“She just came back from the dead, give her a break,” Damian spoke through gritted teeth, his green eyes never leaving her out of his sight. Now that she was here he didn’t think he’d ever dare to lose sight of her again. And sure, she looked a bit different. She  _ felt _ different. But he was certain she was still the same person. That she was still the Raven they all knew. She simply needed to adapt to the life of the living again and it was understandable. He’d give her all the time she needed, no matter how much he wanted for things to go back to the way they were. 

“Is it,” Raven suddenly spoke, turning around to face them, “alright if I stay alone for a bit?”

“Of course--”

“Are you sure?” Damian asked in concern, not wanting to leave her  _ at all _ . Even when she nodded, his body refused to move from its spot. He’d  _ just _ gotten her back and now he was supposed to leave her here?  _ No way _ . 

“She needs her  _ space _ , dude, come on,” Dick grabbed the boy by the arm and literally had to drag him out of the apartment. 

“I’m not leaving her,” he spoke when they were already out in the hallway.

“Damian--” Dick sighed, watching the other sit down on the floor right there by the door. He was stubborn alright. “Are we… even sure it’s  _ her _ ?”

“It is her.”

“How do you know?”

“I  _ know _ ,” Damian frowned and looked up at the other. His answers were insufficient, he knew that, but right now it was better than telling him that the ghost of Raven visited him and told him to do all of this. It wasn’t the right time for it yet. Maybe because he still needed to wrap his head around this himself. Maybe it was because a part of him didn’t entirely believe it was real either. Maybe he had wanted it to be real so  _ badly _ that he made it all up and actually brought god-knows-who back. Only time would tell at this point. That’s all he needed. Time.

“Fine,” Dick finally sighed and turned to leave. “Want me to bring any snacks?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ll  _ get _ hungry if you plan on staying here.”

“I’ll be fine.” There was no changing his mind, that much was certain. With a faint frown on his face, Dick simply made a mental note to bring something over later on. And with that he was gone. Everyone was gone. 

Something about being alone felt familiar to her. Alone, but not lonely. The silence, the dark emptiness welcomed her. And while hesitant, she wasn’t afraid. No, she was curious… Confused… Relieved… Happy… Sad… There were so many emotions that at the end of it, she didn’t quite know  _ what  _ she was feeling. But she had feeling in her fingertips and something about that made her happy. She ran her fingers across the bookshelves, the chairs in the kitchen as she walked past them, she felt the textures of the walls, the doors. Her little house tour ended in the bathroom as she walked up to the mirror and finally looked at herself, although reluctantly.

She knew that it had to be  _ her _ that was looking back at her, but somehow she didn’t recognize that person. Her eyes scanned the reflection and frowned at her lips, her nose, her bald head, her eyes, the gem on her forehead, her  _ everything _ . Everything seemed so wrong. Why did it feel so wrong? What  _ happened  _ to her? Releasing a heavy sigh, she pulled the hood of her jacket over her head and went straight to the bedroom. She needed to meditate. Maybe that would give her some sense of what was going on.

* * *

Minutes turned to hours, hours to days. It was torture all over again. Just sitting and waiting for something to happen, for her to walk out of that door and invite him in. He needed to be patient, he knew that. But  _ god _ was this frustrating! There was no way of knowing what was going on in there. She was all by herself, not talking to anyone, not even leaving the place. It felt almost like she was hiding. If he didn’t hear some movement there every once in a while, he’d think she had run away by now. The thought of her running away and disappearing from his life again scared him. And he hated it. What if she didn’t remember anything from what happened? What if she  _ did _ ? Was that even actually her?

“Your anxiety is killing me,” a sudden voice made his head jerk up to see the apartment door slightly open and Raven standing there, looking right at him. His heart skipped a beat and in an instant, he bolted on his feet and cleared his throat.

“Your silence is killing  _ me _ ,” he tried to be as nonchalant as usual, but he could feel his voice tremble a little. Internally, he was somewhat glad to hear she still picked up on others’ emotions, however. That meant something. Something good. 

Raven hummed in response to that and they stared at each other for a moment longer before she spoke again. “Well, if you’re going to hang around here, you might as well go grab some eggs and milk. I want to make waffles.”

“At”-- he looked down at his wristwatch-- “9 pm?”

“Why not?” A simple shrug rolled off her shoulder. She was so calm it almost felt eerie. There was  _ no _ doubt about the fact that it was indeed Raven. No one else had that effect on people like she did. 

“Very well then,” he huffed and left for the store, returning not too long after. But standing by the apartment door again, he hesitated. Did he just go in? Did he knock? Did she even  _ want _ him to go in? She never said he could join in for the waffles after all. So a knock on the door was probably the best way to go about this.

“The door’s open!” He could hear her voice from the other side of the door and felt a huge stone fall off his chest as he then proceeded to walk inside. Closing the door behind him, he took a quick look around. Most of the apartment was dark, to no surprise. The only light came from the kitchen, where he guessed she was at, so he made his way there.

“Brought what you asked for,” he said before placing the grocery bag on the counter. She thanked him and took what she needed, adding it all to the bowl she had already prepared beforehand.

It was quiet for a while. Damian didn’t exactly know what to do. Offer to help? Sit down? Go back to the hallway? Well, she didn’t seem to mind him being there, so for now he opted for staying in the doorway and watching her make waffles. It felt familiar. Watching her do something as trivial as cooking. There had been countless times back at the tower when she would be making breakfast for herself or they would run into each other late at night when they both couldn’t sleep, so they sneaked into the kitchen for a snack. But he’d never thought too much of it. He never thought too much of anything back then. Those were just the everyday things they lived with. They were teammates. Always had been. But seeing her now, here, like this… It felt different somehow. Warmer. 

“I--”  _ missed you _ didn’t quite roll off his tongue so well once he realized what he was about to say. Seeing her look at him in curiosity though, he cleared his throat and quickly composed himself again. “Have you… remembered anything?”

“Bits and pieces,” she nodded, pouring the batter in the waffle pan. “Some things are hazier than others. The most vivid memories came back to me pretty quickly. Some things come back to me only when I sleep.”

“What  _ are  _ the most vivid memories?” He asked cautiously as he leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest.

“We were investigating some murders… Then the first encounter with-- that sorceress lady--”

“Circe.”

“Circe. Right. Then there were all these voices in my head calling out to me. They had such a strong effect on me. Sometimes it feels like I can still hear them. I also remember… her summoning me? And stabbing me right through the heart. But there’s nothing after that. Did she--” Her violet eyes looked back at him with a hint of fear in them. “--kill me?”

“In a way, yes, she did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” he sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair, “she wanted to bind your demon part to herself to use you as a pawn in her army. So she had to split your human part from your body.”

“Oh,” she blinked in sudden realization, “so I didn’t die then?”

Damian hesitated for a second before shaking his head. “No.” And his heart squeezed tight in his chest. If she were to ask him how she died, he wasn’t sure he was ready to tell her the truth. 

“Hm,” she nodded slowly and carried on with her waffle making. It kind of confused him.

“You  _ are  _ allowed to ask more questions, you know.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Why not? Aren’t you curious at all?”

“I wish I didn’t remember anything at all because each memory only brings pain with it,” Raven said and finally fully turned to him, her hands ever so slightly shaking. “I don’t know why, but each time I remember something, I just want to cry and I can’t--”

“You  _ can _ cry, Raven. The world isn’t going to explode if you do.”

“Look who’s talking, Mister Son-of-Batman Always-have-to-be-stoic.” She rolled her eyes at him with a silent chuckle, but she could already feel a lump forming in her throat, making it harder for her to talk. 

“Hey, I’ve expressed quite a lot of emotions as of late,” he grinned at her and took a step closer.

“Somehow I don’t believe that,” she chuckled, but barely kept herself from letting the tears fall down her cheeks. Somehow it was even harder to do when Damian came closer to her. 

“You just have to remember it, that’s all,” the grin still on his face, he stepped closer again and reached for her shoulders. In an impulse, though, she flinched away and looked down at the floor. 

“Damian, please--”

“Raven,” his voice became much softer and the expression on his face changed to a more serious one as he glanced down at her, “you don’t have to do this alone.” 

The shift in the tone of his voice surprised her. Until that moment she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed having him around for some reason. Silence then set in between them once more. His hands slowly reached up again, placing them on her shoulders once he’d made sure she wasn’t flinching away this time. And it was enough to allow her burst into tears in a matter of seconds. His heart hurt seeing her like this, but at the same time he was relieved that she was letting it all out. And letting him close to her. God knew Raven wasn’t one to show emotion like this in front of anyone. Neither of them were, actually. Which made this all the more special. It felt much more like the last months before her… death. They’d gotten so close to each other. He missed it. He  _ craved  _ to be this close to her again. Without another word she let him embrace her in a tight and warm hug as she cried her eyes out into his chest. There was no particular reason why she wanted to cry. It was everything and nothing at the same time. She couldn’t even explain it. There were so many emotions that had built up inside her just over the course of the past few days. So maybe she just really needed this. To let out  _ everything _ that had piled up inside her. And she did. It felt like she cried for hours. But she didn’t mind as long as she had Damian to hold her. And he didn’t mind as long as he had her to hold.

* * *

A knock on the door. That should’ve been enough to raise her suspicions. But she was still trying to figure Damian’s behaviour out. There were things that were inconsistent with him and visiting her was one of them. One day he’d stand in the hallway for hours contemplating whether or not he should even knock, then just barge in through the door the next day. It was confusing to her. Like he wanted to be there with her, but at the same time he also hesitated to do so. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming, sheesh,” Raven muttered and wrapped herself in a bathrobe, coming from the bathroom as she dried her short hair with a towel hanging around her neck. She didn’t think much of this visit until she came up to the door and placed a hand on the handle. A sharp sting went through her body, stopping her in her tracks. That  _ wasn’t _ Damian. 

Another knock. She flinched back. Her big violet eyes stared at the door like it was about to burst open. And she actually caught herself by the realization that it  _ might  _ if she didn’t open it. Quickly running back to the door, she unlocked it and stepped back again. Somehow she didn’t dare to open it herself and just allowed the person on the other side to do so.

The door handle moved. Her heart skipped a beat. Slowly, the door opened and she was met by these bright green eyes. There was such a mixture of emotions in the air that she couldn’t pinpoint whether it was relief, anger, shock, sadness, disappointment or happiness. Maybe it was all of them.

“So”-- A  _ frown--  _ “How long were you gonna hide for before telling me?”

Her heart clenched. “I’m-- sorry…”

Raven felt like she was out of breath. Her body was unable to move. This was the kind of visit she hadn’t expected  _ at all _ . And it was  _ exactly _ why she was saying she needed more time. She wasn’t ready for this. It was too painful. However, in a matter of seconds the atmosphere in the room changed, she saw a smile and suddenly received the biggest and warmest hug ever.

“You’re alive!” A happy cry.

“Kory--”

“By X’Hal, you’re alive,” the woman laughed out in joy and pulled away to take a good look at Raven. Her eyes had filled with tears, but she had the happiest of smiles on her face.

“Did… Dick tell you?” She frowned in confusion and slight disappointment.

“Oh, Dick doesn’t have to tell me anything for me to know that something’s up,” Kory chuckled and released the other from her grip, but left her hands placed on her shoulders, almost afraid that she’d disappear if she were to let go of her completely.

“Fair enough,” Raven grinned with a raised eyebrow.

“You have to tell me  _ everything _ .”

“So you were never planning on telling anyone besides Damian and Dick?” Kory asked softly, sipping on, like, the third cup of tea already.

“Hey, Dick was never planned to be in this equation either, from what Damian’s told me,” she tried to deflect the question, but Kory’s stern look made her give it up and let out a sigh. “I don’t know, Kory.” Her eyes turned to look out the window. “I don’t think they need me to be in their lives.”

“What are you saying, Raven? Of course they do. We all do. You’re our friend--”

“Yeah, and I’m also a liability.” She snapped her eyes back to her, a certain seriousness in her voice that only she had. “I’m a  _ threat _ . You know it’s true. They know it. I know it. If it isn’t my father ruining the party, it’s  _ me _ . None of you need that.”

“So what, are you going to let them  _ mourn _ you for the rest of their lives?” To say that Kory was in disbelief would be quite an understatement. 

“If that’s what it takes to keep them safe.” But Raven was indeed serious about it, she could see that. And it broke her heart that Raven thought of herself like that. Sure, she’d always deemed herself as not quite fitting in with the group, but it never stopped her from trying, from forming friendships and making a home for herself along with the rest of the Titans. And yes, they had gone through a lot of things. A lot of painful things. But none of them hated her. They didn’t blame her for what happened. That, Kory was sure of. If anything, Raven’s death impacted them immensely and it almost broke the team. But even despite Damian leaving, the rest of them were determined to keep fighting for the good in the world. 

“Raven, listen--”

“No, Kory!” Raven interrupted her and stood up from the couch. “I’ve made up my mind. I want to live a  _ normal  _ life. Here. By myself.”

“That’s a little bit selfish, don’t you think?” Her voice was soft, but there was a hint of disappointment in it. “You may hide behind these walls, underneath the whole  _ I want them safe _ facade, but in reality you’re just too afraid to face them, aren’t you?”

“I--” Kory had never been one to beat around the bush too much, but this just left her speechless. It amazed her how well she’d seen right through her. Was she really that open of a book now? Had she lost her touch? Seeing the girl’s confusion, Kory smiled a little and ushered Raven to sit down again, holding onto her hand.

“It’s alright if you’re afraid. I mean, you came back from the dead, that’s not something one sees everyday.” 

“That’s not why--”

“You  _ died _ , Raven.” Kory emphasised. “No matter under what circumstances. You were a dear friend that we  _ all  _ lost. We  _ all _ mourned you. Most still do.”

Raven’s gaze turned to the empty tea cup on the coffee table before her. The things that Kory was saying made perfect sense. But… Somewhere deep in her heart, it still didn’t feel right. Even if she had already been here for a couple months, it felt it was too soon. Too sudden. How does one even prepare to reveal themselves as  _ not dead _ ?

“Look”-- A warm hand was placed over her own-- “I’m not saying you have to do it  _ now _ . But if you’re waiting for the right moment, know that there will never be one. Just-- As soon as you feel ready.”

Raven nodded slowly and murmured a thank you. As soon as she felt ready. How the hell was she supposed to know when she was ready?

* * *

“You know, when you said you wanted to get out of the apartment, I never expected  _ this _ .” A disgruntled voice followed her as they were making their way forward.

“I need to do this.” Raven didn’t stop even for a second.

“I still don’t see why.” Damian grumbled under his nose.

“Of course you don’t. You weren’t the one to die, Damian.” She reminded him with a certain sternness in her voice and stopped in her tracks to turn around and look at him. “Now where did you say it was?”

He stopped as soon as she did as well and eyed her for a moment before releasing a sigh and looking to the side, nodding in the general direction to what they were looking for. “Should be right over there.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten where it is.” A grin stretched across her face, but he didn’t seem amused at all.

“I  _ haven’t _ .” His eyes squinted at her. He was tense. He had been ever since she told him where she wanted to go. And even though his protests against it were minimal, the tension only got worse now that they were actually here. 

“I’ll wait for you in the car.” And with that he turned to leave, but in an act of impulse Raven stopped him by grabbing him by the hand.

“No, no, Damian”-- She looked right into his eyes as he glanced back at her-- “Stay. Please. You don’t have to come with me, just-- Wait here.”

He frowned in a bit of a confusion. Why did she need  _ him _ to be here? It wasn’t like he could help her with anything. Not like she needed any help to begin with. Moral support maybe? Well… This  _ was _ a cemetery and she wasn’t visiting any ordinary grave after all. So maybe her wish to have someone with her was somewhat justified. Then his gaze turned down to their hands. Noticing this, Raven quickly released him with a silent apology, but a soft gasp left her lips when he grabbed her hand right back.

“D-damian?” She uttered and watched him just stand there in silence, looking down at their hands, his thumb gently drawing circles on the back of her palm. Her heart was racing in her chest and she felt her cheeks burning, but he seemed so awfully calm about this. Several moments passed like this, with him being deep in his thoughts and her just staring at him, waiting for him to say something. Or do something.  _ Anything _ . 

“I’ll stay.” Finally, he declared with that very Damian-like seriousness in his voice and released her hand. No explanations whatsoever. It left her absolutely dumbfounded.

“What was  _ that _ ?”

He raised an eyebrow as if completely clueless about what she was referring to, but the frown on her face made him answer eventually, but not before he clicked his tongue. “The last time that you and I spoke before-- Before things went to  _ shit _ , you asked me if I had any regrets.” Listening to him, her brows furrowed as she recalled a faint memory wondering why they had been talking about regrets, of all things. “At the time, I said I had none. But… Later on I realized that it wasn’t true after all.”

“Well, we all regret the things we’ve done at  _ some _ point in our lives.” 

“No. Not the things I’ve done. More like what I didn’t do. What I  _ should’ve  _ done.”

Raven hummed in response and looked down at her hand, placing it in the other, observing it, trying to have the feeling of it being held linger for a while longer. Closing her eyes for a moment, she released a heavy sigh. “You used to hold my hand.”

“I did.” A nod.

“But we went on  _ fake  _ dates while investigating the murders.”

“We did.” Damian nodded again and watched her look at him with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen.

“What  _ were _ we then, Damian?” She breathed out, almost like on the brink of crying. Once again, her heart just clenched at the thought that she couldn’t remember. If they had been more than just teammates--  _ friends _ , then why would her mind cloud her memories like that? Why would it hide this from her? She didn’t understand. She just wanted to  _ remember _ .

“We weren’t  _ anything _ .” He stated simply and cocked his head to the side, rethinking his words for a moment. “But there could’ve been something had time let us.”

For some reason, hearing those words hurt. But-- It was also relieving.  _ That’s _ why she felt such a strong pull for him. That’s why she wanted him around when she didn’t want to see  _ anyone  _ at all. It was him that brought her back in the first place. She let him close to her, always. And he was always there. At first it seemed so ordinary, so casual. Like it was exactly the way it was supposed to be. But now-- Oh god. How didn’t she see this sooner? 

“I was in love with you.” The sudden realization struck her.

“Perhaps.” Although hearing such a statement made his heart jump, on the outside he was as calm as ever.

“I never told you?” She frowned in confusion and Damian sighed, thinking for a moment.

“Neither of us did.” He then said truthfully. “I think that… we didn’t think we needed to.”

“Do you still think that now?”

“Do  _ you _ ?” He hadn’t meant to be so sharp with his response, but at the same time he didn’t feel like this was the right time  _ or _ place to talk about this. If she didn’t remember any of it to begin with, this conversation was pointless. And he didn’t want her to  _ think  _ that she was in love with him or that he was in love with her. He didn’t want her to believe his words just because he said so. He wanted her to actually feel that way. And she clearly didn’t. Not yet.

The counter question clearly took her aback. Honestly, she didn’t know what kind of an answer she’d expected. What would be worse? For him to think he didn’t need to say it or for him to blurt out that he loved her only to not receive the same in return? Neither of those options seemed like the right one. It wasn’t the right time for it.  _ Not yet _ .

So maybe it was better to just leave it this way. For now. Nodding in thought, Raven then turned and finally went to find what she came here for. Walking slowly, she read every name carefully as she passed them by until one of those gravestones spelled RAVEN.

Her heart stopped for a second and so did she. It was… surreal. Never in her life had she imagined she’d be standing by her own grave. She slowly kneeled down and for the longest time she just stared at the piece of stone before her. To say that she didn’t feel comfortable here would be an understatement. Everything about this particular spot was just… off. The aura wasn’t a good one at all, she could sense it. And to an extent, it made sense. She did die while she had succumbed to her dark self. There wasn’t anything good for her to leave behind.

“What happened to you?” Raven whispered to herself and looked at the ground, carefully reaching her hand down and gently pressing it against the grass. A sudden flash. An  _ inhuman _ scream. Flames. Pain. Anger. So much anger. Voices that were getting louder. And louder. And louder until it felt like they were screaming in her ears.

“ **He killed me. He killed me! HE KILLED ME! You’ll die for this! You’ll all die!** ”

With a loud gasp, she jumped back up on her feet, shaking all over and holding her hands up to her chest.

“Raven?”

Cold sweat dripped down her forehead like she’d just woken up from a nightmare. Deep, shaking breaths. Her heart felt like it was about to leave her ribcage. 

“Raven.” She finally turned to the familiar voice and saw the concern in his eyes. Taking a quick glance down at the grave and her hand, she took a step back.

“I’m fine.” Raven breathed out and walked back to Damian. By the look on her face, he wasn’t sure that she was. But he really was in no position to pry. 

“Let’s leave then.” He suggested and she nodded, silently following him out of the cemetery. As they were walking away, she spared another look back at the grave. It didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem right  _ at all _ .

* * *

She couldn’t shake the strange feeling off all the way to their next location. So much so that even Damian grew more worried by the minute, she could feel it. And she didn’t blame him either. But right now all she could do was try to reassure him that she was indeed fine. For the time being, anyway. What awaited her next needed her full focus anyway. This was going to be an emotional journey that no one could ever be completely prepared for. 

A deep breath. They stepped out of the car and looked up. The evening sun was slowly descending, painting the place in warm colours. A part of her wondered if it had always looked so calm and so beautiful in the evenings. Another realized that such things seemed trivial back then and a lot went by unnoticed. 

“Are you sure about this?” He interrupted the moment of silence, watching her as she seemed to mentally scale the building they were standing in front of.

“No.”

“Good.”

“Why?” She finally looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Because if you were, I’d call you a psychopath.” Damian grinned and walked up to the door to enter the access code to the Tower, which, to no surprise, hadn’t changed since he left.

“You’re  _ hilarious _ .” She deadpanned.

“Haven’t lost my charm then.” With the grin still on his face he gestured for her to go in. She merely rolled her eyes and grinned back as she walked past him, making her way inside. 

Now, getting inside turned out to not be such an issue, but as soon as she was there, her body froze up. Her chest ached and a lump formed in her throat. Was she really about to do this? So much time had passed. Would they truly welcome her back? Would they be mad? Would they be happy? Sad, even? Was she making the right decision to show up unannounced? What was she even  _ doing _ here?

Suddenly, her trail of thoughts was interrupted when she felt something touch her hand. Startled, she glanced down for a split second before her eyes looked up at Damian standing next to her. Nonchalant as usual, his gaze was directed forward until he noticed her looking at him. Slowly turning his head, he looked at her with little to no emotion in his face. Because  _ of course _ there was none. Only this time his eyes betrayed him. They said  _ you’re not alone _ . And, even if for a moment, it washed all her worries away. Squeezing his hand tightly into hers, she smiled at him and took a deep breath.

“Let’s do this.”


	14. Epilogue

“Are you ready to go?” Damian asked as he stepped through the door she had opened only to rush back to the bedroom.

“Just getting my shoes!” Raven called out and emerged once again soon after. 

“Are they comfortable?” He asked casually, looking down at the white flats that she had picked out for herself just a few days back. They looked nice with the light blue dress and white jacket she’d put on. It was almost funny, actually, now that he realized that the dress matched his shirt.

“They are. Why?” An eyebrow raised in mild confusion.

“Just asking.” A shrug rolled off his shoulder before he nodded towards the door. “Let’s go?”

Nodding, they both headed outside. It was a warm day, which was unusual for this time of year, but Raven was definitely glad about it. Especially because Damian had suggested  _ walking _ to this retro diner or whatever. He really tried his best to get her out of the apartment more and she appreciated it, even if it was a bit overwhelming at times. 

A part of her felt bad for still using Dick’s apartment, despite him saying that she was welcome to stay for as long as she wanted  _ and _ the fact that the Titans had actually offered her room back at the Tower. But right now, she wanted to enjoy her new life. For the first time ever she had a chance to actually  _ live _ . She wanted to use it for as long as she could. Try new things. Gain new experiences. Explore new places.

“You seem cheerful today.” After a while of walking, Damian broke the silence and brought her attention to him.

“Do I?” She asked, in an  _ almost _ oblivious tone.

“Did something happen?”

“No. Nothing in particular.” She shook her head.

“Well, that’s an awful lot of smiling for  _ nothing  _ then.” He commented simply.

“Mm. Well, perhaps it just feels nice to smile. You should try it sometimes.” The corner of her lips curled into a grin as she teased him. 

“ _ Tt. _ ” A playful eyeroll. But he couldn’t help but smile. Even if it was internal. Seeing her like this warmed his heart. She’d been through  _ so much _ after all. It was relieving to see she still found joy. And that, in return, made him happy as well. Most days he convinced himself that it was enough too. If she was happy, then so was he. But with every day that passed, he craved to be near her more and more. Despite his better,  _ more rational _ , judgement, he’d been doing his best to keep close too. He told himself it was to keep an eye on her, to keep her safe, to make sure she didn’t suddenly start to turn into a demon… Any and all reasons to keep visiting. Their relationship was different than the one back then. But to what extent? He couldn’t quite tell. It was never clear. Partly because they chose not to talk about it. It was never brought up. They just… spent time together. And it seemed to be enough. But was it?

“Here we are.” Damian pointed to the diner and opened the door for her once they’d reached it. Walking in, it felt like they’d stepped into the 80s. The diner did indeed look like something out of a movie. It even had a jukebox right on the far side of it. They took a seat and ordered something for lunch. As they waited, Raven kept glancing around.

“So why this place?” She finally asked.

“No reason in particular.” He shrugged. “Just thought you might appreciate it, seeing that you like to check out interesting places.”

Her lips formed a smile and she held a brief pause before speaking again. “You’re always good to me.”

“I don’t know, am I?” His heart skipped a beat, but visually nothing changed in his calm exterior. Only his gaze averted from her to suddenly start looking around.

“You have been. Ever since I came back. You’ve always been there. I--” Raven continued slowly, stumbling on her words a little as she grew nervous. “You’ve done so much for me. I just feel like I haven’t done enough for you--”

“You’ve done plenty, Raven.” He was quick to disagree. God damn it, it wasn’t the time  _ or _ place for this conversation. It almost irritated him that she brought these things up  _ now _ . Couldn’t she have chosen a more quiet and private place? However, most of all… It hurt him to know that she thought she hadn’t done anything for him. She’d done  _ so much _ more than she could imagine. If only she could see that. 

“It doesn’t always feel like it, you know.”

If only he could put that into words. 

“But thank you. I’m glad you don’t think I’m  _ completely _ useless.” She chuckled silently.

If only he could  _ show  _ her that.

“I just want you to know that--”

His head suddenly shot back to her and he interrupted with “Do you want to dance?”

It completely took her aback and she stared at him in confusion for a solid minute, partly hoping for him to reveal he was only joking. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Am I ever not?”

“ _ Well _ \--”

“Yes, I’m serious.”

“But Damian”-- A chuckle of disbelief escaped her lips as she looked around-- “No one else is dancing.”

“It hasn’t stopped  _ us _ before.” He grinned knowingly and extended his hand towards her.

“It hasn’t?” She raised an eyebrow, still not believing that this was actually happening. But Damian was absolutely serious about this. Every part of his being was serious, she could sense it. But  _ why _ ? Glancing down at the hand waiting to be taken, Raven thought for a moment longer before releasing a sigh in defeat. “Fine.” She held his hand and they both stood up from their seat, heading in the empty corner right next to the jukebox.

Luckily enough, the diner wasn’t actually too crowded. But the people that were there definitely caught interest in the young couple walking across the entire place over to the jukebox. It wouldn’t have been  _ too _ unusual had they just gone there to change the song, but  _ no _ . Still holding onto her hand, Damian’s free arm wrapped around her waist and gently pulled her closer to him. Her breath got stuck in her throat. His heart picked up its pace. Their eyes met. Her free hand softly landed on his shoulder. They both were nervous. He could hide it as much as he wanted. She  _ knew _ he was nervous too. Pretty much everyone was watching them. Raven could practically  _ feel _ their eyes on them as they started dancing.

“You don’t need to worry about anyone else.” His voice was low, but gentle.

“I know, but…  _ Everyone _ is watching.”

“Does it matter?” He asked nonchalantly and it made her think.  _ Did _ it matter? It was just two people dancing. Were they doing something bad? No. Were they doing something inappropriate? Also no. The jukebox was there. Why couldn’t they dance? Damian was completely right and… it actually astounded her that it was  _ him _ , of all people, to do this.

“No.” She smiled a little and swayed with him in the rhythm of the song. Eventually the overwhelming sense of curiosity and judgement she felt in the room dispersed and she managed to relax in his embrace. Something about this was familiar. Like they’d done it before. Had they danced before? Was that the reason he asked her to dance? To possibly jog her memory? Somehow the thought of that soured this experience for her.

“Damian?”

“Hm?”

“We’ve done this before, haven’t we?” Her sad eyes met his, “Dance in public, I mean?”

“Mm.” He nodded. Although there had been a sliver of hope that she might remember something, he had to admit that it wasn’t the main reason he asked her to dance. “Would you believe if I told you it was your idea back then?”

“I would not.” She chuckled, but a hint of sadness still remained. “But I suppose, if it was for one of our  _ fake _ dates, then--”

“Yes, we’ve done a lot of fake things in the past.” A small frown formed on his forehead. “Fake relationship. Fake dates. Fake names. But here’s the thing, Raven”-- He paused for a moment as he released her from his grip to twirl her around before pulling her back and pressing her close, his eyes looking directly into hers-- “ _ You can’t fake love _ .”

Those words felt like a lightning strike right through her entire being. Her heart trembled and the longer she gazed into his eyes, the more she realized that he was being serious. That he just  _ confessed _ his love to her. Finally. After  _ all _ this time.  _ Finally _ he didn’t dread the word. Maybe it had been foolish of her to wait for him to say it first, but  _ oh _ was it worth it. She felt like she could scream, skyrocket into the air and sink into the ground all at the same time. The feeling was indescribable. But all she could  _ realistically _ do was smile at him with the brightest smile he’d ever seen.

“No. You cannot.” She agreed with him and it finally clicked. Had he really been so blind to not see that she loved him too? All this time?  _ God _ was he an idiot after all. Chuckling at his own stupidity, more than anything else, his arms fully wrapped around her as he slowly leaned in, stopping mere inches from her face as if asking permission to kiss her. Still smiling, Raven closed the gap between them and closed her eyes as they shared a passionate and long overdue kiss.

_ You’ve done plenty, Raven _ .

**FIN**

* * *

**A/n:** So that’s it, folks! Finally we’ve reached the end! And  _ man _ what a journey it has been. This was my first big project that I’ve 100% completed and I’m so proud of myself. For some 14 chapters might not feel like much, but this was the biggest thing I’ve done, both in terms of length and the time it took me to write it, as well as in terms of popularity. The story reached so many readers and I’m thankful to each and every one of you! Thank you all for all the love and support, from the bottom of my heart <3 See you in the next one! Much love!


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